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Opinion: Please Respect My Need to Control You

It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and share our wants and desires. Especially for empaths like me. I don’t express my boundaries to criticize or to make you feel like you haven’t been a good partner. I do it because it is imperative for the well-being of our relationship. So understand that it is with great love and earnestness that I express my need to control you and every aspect of our life together. 

Love is about respect. And I need you to respect my need to control you.

Please don’t turn away just because I am honest with my emotional needs! When couples take time to address them, their relationship can grow in healthy directions and the direction in which you’re packing your stuff and storming out is not one of them! I’m the one who loves you. I’m your rock. Now put down your suitcase and come sit by me, your loving companion, and let’s take a deep dive through your texts and emails. We can come up with how to respond to them… together.

What? Don’t you trust me? You refusing to do this one simple thing makes you look like you’re hiding something. I better look through your whole phone.

Some other ways you can meet my needs include, but are not limited to: 1. Liking my Instagram posts promptly when I ask, not two hours later you neglectful fuck. 2. Letting me supervise while you pack your lunch for work. 3. Not talking to your mom unless she’s on speakerphone but doesn’t know I’m in the room making the “this fuckin’ guy…” face. 4. Ironing your pants so they have that really hot businessman crease like my last partner did.

I am NOT telling you what to do. I’m allowing you to make the right decisions.

You need to appreciate how difficult is for me to establish the boundary of taking control of your life. People who establish boundaries require support, not opposition. As an empathetic person, I can sense that you want to be an independent individual and, although it pains me to not be able to fulfill that desire, it goes against the boundary I set for myself of controlling you. If you refuse to acknowledge the airtight logic in that, then you must be gaslighting me. Like you always do. You, the one who asked me to control you, remember? Of course you don’t. Your memory has always been bad. 

I believe in listening to my inner voice and my inner voice says, “Wouldn’t it be really cool if you had a human puppet?”

Also, for clarity, this is not a sex thing. I still need you to dom me in the bedroom. That’s non-negotiable.