LANSING, Mich. – Following the surprise election of Donald Trump, local woman Roberta Edwards reports her emotions have vacillated between depression and fear for her country’s future. Her cat, however, was reportedly unfazed by the news and has carried on as if the world hasn’t changed.
“When the poll numbers started coming back I was very worried, I paced around my apartment trying to figure out what was happening,” said Edwards as she used a lint roller on her sofa. “But Regina just sat there. I started yelling at her ‘this cannot be happening’ and she didn’t seem to have a care in the world.”
Regina, a white american shorthair, was adopted from a local animal shelter just weeks after Obama was sworn into a second term, and has reportedly never shown any interest in politics on a local or national level.
“When gay marriage was legalized I remember I picked Regina up and we danced, but then she bit my shoulder. I didn’t understand why she wasn’t as happy as me,” said Edwards, recalling past instances the eight-pound cat showed apathy towards society at large. “And once after the mid-term elections I thought she was trying to start a riot. Turns out she’d just got into the catnip.”
“I mean I get it,” she continued. “Trump doesn’t affect her all that much, and Obamacare doesn’t really extend to cats. She’s spayed already so she doesn’t have to worry about her reproductive rights. We do nap together a lot more now, since I haven’t really gotten out of bed for a few days. So that’s been nice.”
Related:
- Everyone Who Voted for Trump Who Isn’t My Dad Is Dead to Me
- Statue of Liberty Moves Back to France
- Karen and Mike Pence Push Twin Beds Together For First Time
Pet owners around the country have reported similar experiences.
“It seemed like business as usual for my pet lizard Allen when Trump won,” said Miami resident Terry Owens. “He ate his crickets like normal. Me on the other hand? I haven’t been able to finish a meal since it happened.”
As of press time Edwards believes Regina is starting to become more politically aware.
“I don’t know her exact intent, but she peed on some of my shoes in the closet and has been pooping just outside of her litter box. I feel like that is some sort of civil disobedience, I just don’t know exactly why yet.”