WASHINGTON — Long-running pedophile sting show “To Catch a Predator” will be returning to the air next with a special new celebrity edition, headlined by none other than President Donald Trump, sources at NBC confirm.
“I’m very happy to announce I will be returning to NBC, primetime baby!” bragged the President to reporters when asked about his rumored cameo. “NBC, I tell ya, they love Trump over there! I get a call from one of their bigwigs, he says to me ‘Mr. President, you’re going to be on one of our programs.’ Didn’t ask me, told me! You gotta respect that. I told him, ‘I don’t know if I’ll have time, I’m the president, I’m a busy guy,’ he says, ‘We already filmed it. These TV people, they’re incredible, aren’t they? The way they work. If Biden worked half as hard as they do, the country wouldn’t be in so much trouble today, I can tell you that. Anyway, I don’t know what it is, I’m sure it won’t be as good as “The Apprentice”, but check it out!”
Longtime “To Catch a Predator” host Chris Hansen had more to say on the President’s involvement, and the inception of the celebrity-focused reboot of the police sting reality series.
“We had absolutely no intention of doing a celebrity edition; we just set up shop to do a straight-ahead new season of the show the same way we’ve always done. Then, the president of the United States shows up with a 4-pack of wine coolers for what he believes to be a 15-year-old girl named Maxine. After that, Kevin Spacey rings the bell, all excited to take polaroids of the teen boy he met online. Then it was Steve Bannon, Bill Cosby, Mark Zuckerberg, just a cavalcade of stars, and that’s just to name a few! It’s deeply upsetting, but hey, play the hand you’re dealt, I guess. Celebrity To Catch a Predator, Fridays at nine.”
Special Victims officer Emanuelle Cortez gave insight as to how the show managed to snag a guest as high-profile as Donald Trump.
“Well, we went onto the same dark web message boards we used in the past, actually, I was showing a trainee how to do it, so I wrote this very basic, obviously fake post. ‘DTF underage girl. Loves disgusting old men. White.’ I think that’s all it said. I don’t know how, but the president was here within minutes. We were unable to arrest him due to the fact that he is a key figure in a much larger criminal investigation at this time.
Recently leaked internal memos from NBC show that Elon Musk tried desperately to get on the show but was ultimately turned down.
