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Criss Angel Accidentally Makes The Bouncing Souls Disappear

LAS VEGAS — Illusionist Criss Angel reportedly made legendary New Jersey punk band The Bouncing Souls disappear just before their scheduled performance at this year’s Punk Rock Bowling & Music Festival, according to multiple stunned witnesses.

Angel’s management team confirmed the popular magician was on site at the Downtown Las Vegas Event Center to promote his own show, Mindfreak, at The Luxor.

“This is not how an illusionist ever wants his mindfreak arts to work,” said a shaken Angel. “I was just going to make the drum kit vanish and reappear with a few free passes to my show and be done with it. But something went really, really wrong. Maybe my ‘freak’ hand and my ‘mind’ hand got mixed up.”

The mishap occurred just as The Bouncing Souls were about to start their set. The full band, including Greg Attonito, Pete Steinkopf, Bryan Kienlen, and George Rebelo, have yet to be seen since.

“We were told everything would be perfectly safe,” said Bouncing Souls manager Kate Hiltz. “Lots of punk bands have been weary about magicians ever since David Blaine froze The Adolescents in an ice block, but we figured that was an urban myth. I don’t know what to do. Criss seems really panicked, and that scares me.”

Angel was allegedly heard muttering, “Uh oh,” in the silence after the four men disappeared. Moments later, Angel was punched by 24-year-old punk fan James Martinez.


“Yo, I came down from Montana for this fest, and I’m not going to let some goth dildo in an Affliction shirt erase my favorite band from the planet,” said Martinez. “If The Bouncing Souls can hear me, please come back and play ‘True Believers.’”

Witnesses report Angel was taken in for questioning by police as they attempt to locate the band. Clark County Sheriff Joseph Lombardo remained optimistic the band would “return to the earthly realm.”

“We’ve been diligently scouring the area, despite Mr. Angel’s single clue of ‘forces at play our minds may never be able to comprehend,’” said Sheriff Lombardo. “So we’ve got a lot of ground to cover.”

While in custody, Angel reportedly declined to press charges against Martinez for the assault. “I would’ve done the same thing if I liked the Bouncing Stools or whatever,” said Angel. “I probably deserved it.”