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White Guy Excited to Finally Sit Down and Miss the Point of Childish Gambino Video

UNITED STATES — Local white guy Trent Langlois was ready to jump right into celebrating the music video for Childish Gambino’s “This is America” for all the wrong reasons early this afternoon, several unsurprised black people confirmed.

“When I first saw the video, I thought, ‘Donald Glover is such a good dancer!’” Langlois said. “But then, I watched it again, and I realized all of those kids were great dancers, too… not to mention cute! Oh — also, he smokes a joint in it, which was really brave. I’m, like, all for legalization.”

When questioned about some of the glaringly obvious motifs in “This is America” — ranging from gun violence and police brutality, to capitalism and consumerism — many well-meaning Caucasian fans were quick to voice their take.

“I missed the chance to not get the point of ‘Formation’ when Lemonade came out, which was such a bummer,” said fellow white guy Andy Smart. “But to get another opportunity to focus on the wrong shit, so soon? I’m not about to squander this one.”

Included with the vivid imagery and metaphor in Childish Gambino’s video, depicting the struggles of a black person in the United States, was a horse white fans collectively called “fun” and “so random.”

“Honestly, I just watched it because I’m such a huge fan of Donald Glover. He’s so funny! I loved him in ‘Community,’” confessed Olivia Dunnigan, a social media intern at a Portland dog spa. “It kinda reminds me of his show Atlanta — I’ve seen every episode. Man, is that a goofy show… I don’t even know what it’s about!”

At press time, over 100 ukulele covers of the song were reportedly uploading onto various YouTube channels.

This is a breaking news story. More updates to follow.

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