Press "Enter" to skip to content

What Punk Documentary Interviewee Needs You to Understand Is That at This Point Reagan Was in the White House

NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Prominent documentary talking head Gareth “Rubber Duck” Wayne is repeatedly reminding everyone that, at the point of the story he is telling, Ronald Reagan was in the White House, the film producers reported.

“It was a different time, but you could feel something special was just around the bend. Especially in our little scene. But, like I said before, you gotta understand: Reagan was in the White House at this point. Not Carter, not Clinton, not even the first Bush, it was Reagan,” said Wayne, without really saying anything at all. “Politically, we felt everything was bullshit, but also, politically, we wanted change. We would have definitely liked someone else in the White House at that point, but who we had was Reagan. Ronald Reagan, you gotta understand. If not, we can re-set the camera and I can do another take to tell the story again.”

Viewers of “Nutmeg State of Mind,” the documentary on the early ‘80s Connecticut hardcore scene, report appreciation of Rubber Duck’s constant reminders..

“I was thankful he kept reminding us, because sometimes I’m watching a documentary and I’m like ‘wait, I don’t understand. At what point was Reagan in the House? And what color was the house?’ So, luckily I wasn’t so lost while this movie played,” said film premiere attendee Ferris Pleasance. “Rubber Duck was there to set the stage, over and over again, and now I truly understand. At that point, man, Reagan was in the White House.”

Guinness Book of World Records Chairman Alistair Richards has shown interest in the possibility of adding the documentary to their ranks.

“By my estimation,’ Nutmeg State of Mind,’ and Rubber Duck by extension, could be added to the Book very soon. ‘Documentary Where An Aging Punk Says What You Need To Understand Is At This Point Reagan Was In The White House Most Times’ is a highly sought-after record to break,” said Richards “But not a simple one. But this Rubber Duck fellow makes it look easy. The previous record holder was 83 times over the course of a two-hour documentary. But, a new contender has entered the ring. I’ve heard the phrase at least that many times after just letting the DVD menu play for a minute and a half. Welcome to Guinness, Rubber Duck.”

At press time, Rubber Duck Wayne had successfully booked an appearance in a documentary about Ronald Reagan’s presidency to finally say “What you need to understand is, Connecticut hardcore was just getting started.” but kept messing up his line.