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Visit to Childhood Bedroom Reveals More Involved Ska Phase Than Girlfriend Led On

GRAND ISLAND, Neb. — A visit to Carrie Choi’s childhood bedroom last week revealed a way more involved ska phase than she initially led her girlfriend to believe, according to sources who sort of don’t really know if they can look at Choi the same way ever again.

“I mean… she made it sound like she kind of liked a couple No Doubt songs when that shit was all over the radio, but there are some really deep references up all over this room,” said Choi’s girlfriend of three years, Laurie DiStefano. “She had Pietasters ticket stubs tacked up on the headboard of her bed, and when I looked in her closet I found a Big D and the Kids Table shirt that looks like it was handmade with a stencil. This is way more than a casual phase — these are tell tale signs of a serious fanhood.”

“What else don’t I know about this person?” she added.

Choi’s ex from high school confirmed her “full blown” ska phase, which he hopes she’s been able to leave in the past.

“Yeah, it started out as a bit of fun, watching Goldfinger videos after school and whatnot. But it didn’t take long before we were really deep into that shit — checkerboard belts, trumpet lessons, those little hats… it was a pretty dark time in my life. I don’t like to think about it too much,” said former ska fan and current shoegaze band frontman, Danny Hunter. “Since then, I’ve made some big lifestyle changes, and I hope she has, too. Life is just too short to be dancing around to upbeat music and having fun.”

However, when confronted about her ska fandom, Choi looked back on that time of her life fondly and with a sense of humor.

“Listen, every kid goes through an embarrassing phase of their life, and I can laugh about it now,” Choi said. “I mean, what ’90s girl wasn’t super into Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and didn’t run away from home at 15 to try to find and marry Fishbone with nothing more than a backpack full of Mighty Mighty Bosstones bobble head dolls? Super cringe!”

At press time, Choi was locked inside her parent’s bathroom snorting fat rails of OxyContin off of an old Catch 22 CD case.

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