LOS ANGELES — Progressive metal band Tool recently announced the “Lateralus Gold” experience, which involves fans paying $10,000 to massage all four men in the…
MELBOURNE — Leading archaeology authorities excitedly reported they’re narrowing in on finally unearthing a song by Jet that isn’t “Are You Gonna Be My Girl,”…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A life-long fan of the political rock group Rage Against the Machine expressed outrage that the band’s politics had changed from how…
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Rebellious bartender Shae Ruggeri insisted on playing Semisonic’s signature song “Closing Time” exclusively at the start of her opening shifts, confirmed sources…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Popular musician turned right-wing icon Kid Rock revealed a line from his 1999 hit “Bawitaba” referred to the infamous Riemann mathematical conjecture…
LOCKPORT, N.Y. — Local 35-year-old man Richard Colburn recently came to the stark realization that he will never again experience joy like he did watching…
VANCOUVER, Canada — Facebook Marketplace seller Teo Aubrey Domingo was firm on his asking price for the stolen band gear he put up for sale,…
BALTIMORE — Top neuroscientists at Johns Hopkins University developed an innovative procedure that will allow the human brain to offload Matchbox Twenty lyrics in order…
EL SOBRANTE, Calif. — Founding Primus member Les Claypool finally reached a level of competence that will allow him to stop playing bass and switch…
HERSHEY, Pa. — Veteran band Phish announced their next song which would feature no more than five words followed by a “jam session” that could…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — The Butthole Surfers were harassed today by territorial surf locals that were reportedly trying to keep their favorite butt breaks secret,…
SAN DIEGO — A local group of five CSU San Marcos English majors formed a remedial math rock band to bone up on their algebra…
COLTS NECK, N.J. — The grandchildren of legendary musical artist Bruce Springsteen are reportedly exhausted after being serenaded with a soul-scorching series of lullabies that…
ATLANTA — Authorities were called to the State Farm Arena this evening to respond to what eyewitnesses report as a twirling session at a Stevie…
LOS ANGELES — A halftime performance by Icelandic post-rock band Sigur Rós led to an unheard of scoreless third quarter between the Golden State Warriors…