Weddings are a beautiful $50,000 celebration of love. If you’re fortunate enough, you get to spend one of the best days of your life with…
RALEIGH, N.C. — Math rock band Integrals continuously had their live set interrupted by the wormholes their music was repeatedly formulating on stage, sources report.…
Gen Xers will always remember where they were on 9/11, the fall of the Berlin Wall, and the day they found out Kurt Cobain was…
BANGOR, Maine — Foo Fighters singer Dave Grohl was left with no choice but to tell his second family about his even more confidential family,…
Rookie NFL Game DJ Mistakenly Presses “Crazy Train” Button Instead of “Welcome to the Jungle” Button
Rookie NFL Game DJ Mistakenly Presses “Crazy Train” Button Instead of “Welcome to the Jungle” Button
GREEN BAY, Wisc. — Local man Jason Broderick committed a grievous error in pressing the “Crazy Train” button instead of the “Welcome to the Jungle”…
OTTAWA, Ontario — Beloved ‘90s singer-songwriter Alanis Morissette updated her classic song “Ironic” to highlight the absurdity that the only attractive member of Limp Bizkit,…
ST. LOUIS — Guinness World Records announced that Dave Flenderson broke the world record for the longest-running Smiths phase in history, confirmed sources who didn’t…
WINNIPEG, Manitoba — Local Weakerthans fan Graham Neal is reportedly unable to extend his performance in the bedroom by using the classic “just think about…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Bret Michael’s longtime bandana and cowboy hat launched a heated custody battle of his head this week, according to sources flipping through…
NASHVILLE — Notorious guitar collector Joe Bonamassa is being praised for saving a mint 1965 Gibson ES-335 from a lifetime of quality songwriting in a…
LOS ANGELES – Casual Tool fan Chris Miller is perplexing scientists around the world with his ability to listen to the progressive rock band without…
MONTREAL — The lead vocalist of longtime post-rock instrumental band Godspeed You! Black Emperor was reportedly mortified today after learning that his microphone had been…
KINGSTON, N.Y. — Noise music enthusiast Craig Spencer tried in vain to identify the cacophonous racket heard through his living room wall, according to sources…
CHICAGO — Exasperated cardiologist Dr. Everett Johnston is struggling to explain to his math rock guitarist patient that an arrhythmia, the irregular beating of the…
WASHINGTON — The National Archives released an overwhelming collection of previously classified documents this morning proving that the moon landing from The Smashing Pumpkins’ “Tonight,…