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Punk Show on 10th Hour of Waiting for a Few More People to Turn Up

BANGOR, Maine — A punk show scheduled for 7 p.m. last night at Lobster Prison is currently 10 hours past the expected start time, while the promoter insists everyone “wait for a few more people to show up,” impatient sources confirmed.

“Once doors have been open for 12 hours, we can start getting things going… but right now, people are still filing in,” said show promoter Tad Pilter of the completely empty room. “Besides, we could use another sound check or two, just to make sure everything sounds tight.”

Local bands Decoy Farm, ColdToz and touring act Strep Trout are “slightly bummed” by their inability to draw a crowd larger than single digits.

“We were hoping that delaying the show two hours would allow us to get some of the people leaving the Jeff Pinkeye show down the street, but nobody stopped in,” said ColdToz singer Adam DeSouza. “I was outside trying to generate some interest for the show, and I actually saw people I know — people who I considered to be friends — running across the street to avoid me. I’m not going to lie, that hurt.”

Tyler Andrami, Lobster Prison’s bartender and only staff member, claimed this is not uncommon for shows at the venue.

“When I first started here, I thought it was annoying, because I mainly get paid through tips… and the only people I’d serve were cheap band dudes using drink tickets. So I was basically losing money to work here,” said Andrami. “But I renegotiated my pay so I get paid whether anyone shows up or not. I brought a cot from home, and I just sleep on that behind the bar until the sun comes up and the show eventually gets cancelled.”

At press time, an Instagram story posted at 8 a.m. to the ColdToz account confirmed Strep Trout was starting their set, with a caption reading, “As soon as the morning rush hour is over this place will be packed!”