Laura Lewis
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RICHMOND, Va. — A small group of goths squatting at a local residence were mistaken for Victorian ghosts, confirmed police…
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Violet Cowdin
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — An Ira Glass lookalike contest was held at a Yo La Tengo concert this week, confirmed sources…
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Jonah Nink
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CHICAGO — Local woman Wendy Sachs felt “incredibly lucky” to hear the worst cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” ever written…
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Tyler Roland
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LOS ANGELES — Progressive metal band Tool recently announced the “Lateralus Gold” experience, which involves fans paying $10,000 to massage…
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Doug Kolic
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OKLAHOMA CITY — Scientists announced that the ashes of a cremated punk were so toxic that it would likely poison…
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Tim Sheard
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MELBOURNE — Leading archaeology authorities excitedly reported they’re narrowing in on finally unearthing a song by Jet that isn’t “Are…
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Reuben Blanchard
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PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A life-long fan of the political rock group Rage Against the Machine expressed outrage that the band’s…
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Steve Packosky
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ANAHEIM, Calif. — Recently deceased grandmother of six Dorothy Roddenbury selfishly had a funeral on the same day Anthrax was…
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Mimi Kenny
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HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Rebellious bartender Shae Ruggeri insisted on playing Semisonic’s signature song “Closing Time” exclusively at the start of…
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Zack Zagranis
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LODI, N.J. — Misfits lead singer Glenn Danzig is reportedly amending the band’s ongoing request for skulls to include leg…
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