It’s September, which basically means it’s Halloween and Alkaline Trio have long held the distinction of being the spookiest boys, who are actually grown men,…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Local Fangles Family Kitchen server and math rock fan Dave Morgan eagerly accommodated a request to split a check as a…
CHULA VISTA, Calif. — The patriarch of the local scene assembled the area’s young punks to hear an oral history of longstanding beefs, according to…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local heavy metal fan Eric Tullman was saddened that the Mercyful Fate shirt he was wearing while making an emergency restroom stop…
These days, it seems like division is ingrained into the very fabric of our society. Whether it’s politics, religion, or even sports fandom, the possibility…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local extremely confused man Kirk Unger struggled to determine if he was hearing a live recording of The Grateful Dead or just…
Let’s face it. This country has changed and not for the better. Inflation, never-ending wars, global warming, and overall lack of decency. We all know…
PHOENIX — A group of local construction workers told legendary rock star Alice Cooper that he’d look prettier with less makeup as he walked by…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Jack White issued a strongly worded cease and desist letter on a one-of-a-kind 7” forbidding the Republican candidate from using his songs…
Let’s face it, liking a legendary group’s most popular song can make you come across as an unseasoned veteran of a band’s fandom. It’ll look…
ATHENS, Ga. — Beloved local bar and music venue Whiskey Dick McGraw’s is facing backlash from confused and disappointed punks due to the apparently above-standard…
LOS ANGELES — Alleged pedophile and formerly popular rapper Drake hopes a friend can get him hired at Trader Joe’s until the fallout of his…
CHICAGO — Longtime fans of The Smashing Pumpkins are reportedly shocked and infuriated that the band’s latest release, “Aghori Mhori Mei,” is actually pretty darn…
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Troy Floor, lead singer of the band Surfside, was apparently really showing off that he knew all the words to his…
ELLICOTT CITY, Md. — Local resident and supposed Staind fan Brandon Vintner wasn’t even present at the attempted coup on the U.S. Capitol on January…