MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. — Punk band Descendents announced a new album titled “Milo Moves to Canada” in response to Donald Trump’s election victory, which is…
NEW YORK — Ahmir K. Thompson, better known as Questlove from the band The Roots, recently questioned what kind of horrible person he was in…
PORT TOWNSEND, Wash. — Local opening band Eyeball Soup thought it was crucial that the audience know their bassist’s name is Steve, confirmed sources who…
WASHINGTON — Popular ‘70s gay icons Village People announced they would be performing at multiple Trump inauguration events and will feature a new lineup made…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Merch guy Darren Byrum for touring band Hung Jury was found rehearsing his lack of eye contact in the bathroom of…
TORONTO — The University of Toronto announced a breakthrough study that showed playing Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like a Woman” resulted in women suddenly…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local jam band enthusiast Melody Meadows chose to name her new puppy Bowie as an homage to one of her favorite Phish…
U.S. ROUTE 49, Miss. — Local punk and guitar virtuoso Drennen Boydell decided to sell his soul to the Devil in exchange for getting worse…
CHICAGO — Local dad Patrick Larken caught his oldest daughter in the backseat of her boyfriend’s fogged-up Toyota Corolla singing along to Weezer’s seventh studio…
THE LABYRINTH — Residents of a crust punk house were seemingly unaware that they were inhabiting the Cenobite dimension, terrified sources confirmed. “I woke up…