Before you scabs post something derivative on your social media pages with a four person outreach, just know this: Hawthorne Heights are bigger than all…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Cecil Clarke admitted that the only contribution he made to his upcoming wedding is researching potential honeymoon locations by listening to…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Members of rockabilly octet Eddie Mercury and the Cougars recently took a paternity test to determine who’s the real daddy-o of scene…
WASHINGTON — Legendary hardcore vocalist and sunburn victim Ian MacKaye reportedly became irritated with his friends and family for failing to alert him to more…
DULUTH, Minn. — Local prog metal shredders Bride Of Pythagoras made an announcement this week that every member of the band would be taking a…
Cap’n Jazz is the most important emo band of the 90s Midwest scene. They are also the most confounding. When I discovered them on a…
Glenn Danzig is known for a lot of things. He’s the legendary singer of the Misfits and other bands, he loves old horror movies, and…
WASHINGTON — United States Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy confirmed that the deadly epidemic of male loneliness in America finally ended after an unknown person…
COLUMBIA, S.C. — So-called At the Gates superfan Derek Chaulk was rattled after he discovered the Swedish metal band’s discography includes six other albums outside…
WALLINGFORD, Conn. — A blossoming romance wilted last night after Ty Baldwin, lead singer of local punk outfit Gashmaggot, called his new girlfriend by his…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — Hawaiian shirt and khaki short-wearing mourners on beaches across the country solemnly participated in a memorial Happy Hour of Silence to…
LAS VEGAS – Patriot Sound Technologies unveiled their latest pedal collaboration with Five Finger Death Punch guitarist Zoltan Bathory, which accuses any user who tries…
Long Island has a lot going for it. It’s got a couple of beaches, bagels, and more emo bands per capita than anywhere else in…
“Oh yeah, Fishbone… I saw them [open for the Beastie Boys/play Lollapalooza/on tour with Parliament, etc. – fill in nearly any rock act], they were…
WASHINGTON — Local punk exorcist Benicio “Scary” Scaramucci admitted he didn’t see any problems with the sinister child threatening nuns and puking everywhere when asked…