WOODSTOWN, N.J. — Local punk Alice Moretti thought of “the sickest” melody while shaving her armpits in the shower moments ago, only to forget it…
FREDERICK, Md. — Longtime punk band Booger Eater realized yesterday that it’s been over 10 months since they occupied a stage at a local bar…
There’s a reason Machine Gun Kelly’s album “Tickets To My Downfall” debuted as number one on the Billboard charts. And, no, it’s not because it’s…
CALABASAS, Calif. — 73-year-old Wagnerian rock legend Michael “Meat Loaf” Aday was appalled to learn yesterday that Millennials have accepted and even embraced the act…
A global pandemic. Equality uprisings. The removal of Cyberpunk 2077 from the PlayStation store. This is a time of great upheaval. These are the times…
ATLANTA — Dominique Jones, more popularly known to rap fans as Lil Baby, tragically passed away in his sleep last night due to apparent Sudden…
WASHINGTON — Congressional attempts to pass a COVID-19 stimulus bill once again reached an impasse yesterday after Congressman Matt Gaetz (R-FL) introduced an amendment to…
NEW YORK — Progressive post-hardcore band Ganymede’s Gates reportedly realized moments ago that the entirety of their fanbase are “uncool nerds” whom they would never…
ARLINGTON, Texas — Local dishwasher Dale Bennett was suddenly imbued with the ability to play every Pantera riff yesterday after he was bit on the…
BALTIMORE — Local audio engineer Pat “Filth” Filtrenzo realized yesterday that his “pay by the hour” business model was deeply flawed after multiple grindcore bands…
Through the aisles of Sam Ash, something grotesque caught my eye. An affront to every moral ever held dear. I feared I was tripping on…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary punk frontman Glenn Anzalone, better known by stage name Glenn Danzig, was arrested and held without bail in connection with the…
NEW YORK — Fans of indie rock legends The Strokes collectively agreed that the boring nature of the band’s newest album “The New Abnormal” from…
BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — Friends and family of Mariah Carey’s boyfriend Bryan Tanaka are increasingly concerned about his poorly thought-out decision to not give a…
2020 has been one hell of a year for music. We heard, at least. We’ll be honest. After turning 30 this year we straight up…