HUDSON, N.Y. — Chester Fields, self-proclaimed “super fan” of indie-rock band The Break, paid a grand total of $0.00 yesterday for the band’s new album…
KIEV, Ukraine – A seemingly depressed Eugene Hütz, frontman of gypsy punk band Gogol Bordello, experienced little to no outward joy last night whilst swinging…
BALTIMORE — Following weeks of public pressure, local classic rock station WBZA admitted today that their claim of playing “all the hits” is false, as…
WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — Feminine care brand Playtex and Ibanez Guitars held a joint press conference today to announce a collaboration for a new model of…
CHICAGO — Tattooed members of touring hardcore band Sin Eater are reportedly tired of fielding questions as to whether or not they are chefs every…
NEW YORK — Inventor and former Weezer fan Dr. Stanley Tankowitz successfully time travelled last week to September 10, 2001, to warn Americans that Weezer…
DENVER — Local punk Zane Winslow Jr. claimed today that although he is named after his father and is familiar with his father’s existence, he…
LOS ANGELES — Blink-182 bassist Mark Hoppus confirmed today his jealousy of former bandmate Tom DeLonge’s frequent contact with extraterrestrials, secretly wishing even just one…
PORTLAND, Maine. — The intro track of doom metal band Bleak Altar’s newest album is either an “artful, slow burn” or “complete waste of 12…
PARAMUS, N.J. — Musician Dan Beck has been repeatedly playing the same part of the Pavement song “Silence Kid” in a local Guitar Center throughout…
NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. — Sugar Ray vocalist and TV personality Mark McGrath admitted today that he now embraces being called “Sugar Gay” after years of…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Pop-punk frontman and legal adult Brandon DeMarco combed through his teen girlfriend’s diary last night for inspiration, in a desperate attempt to…
[Ed note: Leaving the Iggy Pop obit in the draft folder. Great idea to get this written up ahead of time. I mean, have you…
DUBLIN — A local moron obviously blind to his own idiocy stood around last night with a brand-new Gildan shirt wadded up in his clammy…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local adventurer Melissa Carter will leave her base camp by the big water jug on the bar later this evening to go…
