PONCA CITY, Okla. — Local 36-year-old Shane McThomason recently admitted he still instinctively hides his Eminem CDs whenever his parents visit him, confirmed sources who…
U.S. ROUTE 49, Miss. — Local punk and guitar virtuoso Drennen Boydell decided to sell his soul to the Devil in exchange for getting worse…
CHICAGO — Local dad Patrick Larken caught his oldest daughter in the backseat of her boyfriend’s fogged-up Toyota Corolla singing along to Weezer’s seventh studio…
ITHACA, N.Y. — A recent study by Cornell University found that a striking one out of five local metal band t-shirts ends up inside an…
THE LABYRINTH — Residents of a crust punk house were seemingly unaware that they were inhabiting the Cenobite dimension, terrified sources confirmed. “I woke up…
WASHINGTON — Frontman Abha Alvarez of punk band Kissinger’s Prostate disappeared suddenly and was replaced with unknown musician Holden Everett mid-tour after Alvarez performed a…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local drone metal fan Judson Riley reportedly came in 27 minutes early with his air guitar at a recent show, embarrassed sources…
NEW YORK — Metal frontman and former singer of Twisted Sister Dee Snider celebrated four decades of being seen as a metal icon for no…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Continuous go-getter Henry Rollins recently employed the services of a TaskRabbit professional to ask him questions about his varied projects and interests…
BLUE ISLAND, Ill. – Opening band Abridged Aversion left the local punk scene in a tailspin when they immediately departed following their 15-minute set instead…
SYDNEY — Rock legends AC/DC are gearing up for another tour of the US so they can see where their favorite television program was shot,…
OSLO, Norway — Black metal band Frossen Ensomhet undertook a series of team-building church burning activities at the behest of their band therapist, sources report.…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local resident Calvin Davenport continues to experience unprecedented levels of euphoria nearly a decade after successfully recommending midwest emo band Dad Pants…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Slipknot percussionist Shawn “Clown” Crahan reportedly resolved to hit a beer keg with his baseball bat at least 50 times a…
LOS ANGELES — A shocking new report by citizen journalist/unemployed man Gary Russo claims that skateboarder Tony Hawk did not actually write “Superman by Goldfinger,”…