TAMPA, Fla. — Local death metal band Sinister Descent unveiled a brand new logo after bassist Saul Cohen had the presence of mind to photograph…
As I write this from a jail cell for accidental tax evasion, I know one thing is certain: the world of finances remains a great…
LONDON — Legendary British metal band Iron Maiden found themselves writing a song about the British Credit Crisis of 1772 after discovering they had already…
ATLANTA — Authorities were called to the State Farm Arena this evening to respond to what eyewitnesses report as a twirling session at a Stevie…
WATERVILLE, Maine — Local music venue Reggie’s reportedly collapsed after a wall of death during an Avulsed concert turned out to be load-bearing, sources report.…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — Frontman Dale Leinert humiliated himself after his blind date discovered the font size of his band on a local festival poster…
PLANO, Texas — An incredible meeting of souls occurred last night as Christian punk band The Chastity Pistols and their audience forged a bond over…
BOSTON — Local scene veteran Randy Ragnar amazed attendees at a house party with his seamless recitation of all five lead vocalists of Black Flag,…
SAN ANTONIO — Local metalhead Spencer Leggieri is reportedly being scouted by multiple pizza shops across the city in hopes of securing his talent as…
PHILADELPHIA — Singer Anthony Green, best known as the lead vocalist of Saosin, Circa Survive, The Sound of Animals Fighting, L.S. Dunes, and too many…
LOS ANGELES — A halftime performance by Icelandic post-rock band Sigur Rós led to an unheard of scoreless third quarter between the Golden State Warriors…
PROVIDENCE, R.I — Local crust punk Phil “Sponge” Baker is planning on participating in today’s economic blackout by vowing to only use his parents’ credit…
Look at me, I’ve matured. It’s not all about hair, or style, or talent, for me anymore. What really gets me hot and bothered these…
NEW YORK — Local one-hit wonder band Owl Tempest reportedly apologized today for failing their fans after only being able to produce one timeless masterpiece…
NEW YORK — Local fashionable and slim brothers John and Bob Bedword are sick of being mistaken for a synth pop duo at a local…