ELON, N.C. — Christian metal band Bless The Martyr came under fire last week over a flyer for their upcoming performance, which allegedly showed no…
4 Lovely Weddings Ruined by Slash Ripping a Solo
Weddings are supposed to be days that are remembered forever. Unfortunately, some weddings get remembered for the wrong reasons. Especially when they’re weddings that Slash…
RIP Lars Ulrich: We Really Didn’t Know You Had a Peanut Allergy, and That’s Our Bad
Wow. Shit just keeps getting worse. Last night, at an undisclosed hospital, Lars Ulrich passed away at the age of 55, and that’s totally our…
Mathcore Band’s Album Art Flipped Upside Down Says ‘BOOBS’
MORRIS PLAINS, N.J. – Local mathcore band Obtuse Heart released a new album entitled Life Is But 58008 last week, including cover art reading “BOOBS”…
Speed Metal Band Wired to Explode If They Play Less Than 300 BPM
SEATTLE — A mad bomber wired local speed metal band Adrenaline Enema to explode if they play at less than 300 BPM, according to ongoing…
16 years after the landmark lawsuit Metallica v. Napster, Inc., it looks like the thrash metal giant is once again having the last laugh in…
Meet the Ken Bone-Themed Metal Band That Are Clearly Just Doing This for Attention
The biggest story coming out of the second presidential debate was not the candidates’ positions on domestic or foreign policy, but instead a mustachioed, red…
NEW ORLEANS — Drone metal act hur’Q took time during their performance Friday night to honor Chris Slade, their friend and sound engineer who passed…
DENVER — Self-described “stoner-tech” metal band Great Barrier Reef revealed today their plans to write a song in a 4/20 time signature, which would be…
Lemmy Impersonator Dead After Three Weeks on the Job
BRENTWOOD, Tenn. – A life insurance salesman and frontman of recently formed Motörhead tribute band Speed Freak was found dead in his apartment early Sunday…
WINNIPEG, MB – A Canadian passenger train jumped free of its tracks yesterday evening in a horrific disaster that played stunning homage to a classic…
Metallica Adopts Hologram Technology to Replace Perfectly Healthy Lars Ulrich
LOS ANGELES — Lars Ulrich, the founding drummer of Metallica, will be replaced by a hologram on all future live dates despite a clean bill…
Malia Obama’s Secret Service Detail Subtly Suggests Iron Maiden Might Be Fun Concert to Attend
WASHINGTON D.C. – After cell phone footage of Malia Obama, codename “Radiance,” enjoying herself at Lollapalooza surfaced online, 38-year-old Secret Service Agent Ted Hogan began…
Ozzy Osbourne Googles “Black Sabbath Lyrics”
LOS ANGELES – Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath’s longtime lead singer and founding member, used a search engine to try to remember his own lyrics before…
PORTLAND, Ore. – Shortly after announcing this year’s lineup, Warped Tour revealed plans for a new tent for adults to voice their disgust about the…