BALTIMORE — Several prominent public figures within the ”flat-earther” community recently attended the same Trapt concert, confirmed multiple sources. “Everybody’s here tonight,” said avid Trapt…
CINCINNATI — Metalhead Tim Grant took off his glasses, let down his ponytail, and shook his hair out, only to look slightly worse than before,…
TALLAHASSEE, Tenn. — The Tallahassee Police Department is in chaos due to nearly every officer requesting time off to attend an upcoming Five Finger Death…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Local nu metal fan, and proud American, Gary Buski says everything he does in life is in pursuit of nookie and to…
BOULDER, Colo. — An explosive dispute over genre semantics broke out at the Thanksgiving dinner of the three-generation metalhead Reeder family regarding the disputed progressive…
CINCINNATI — Bolt Thrower fan Harold Rodriguez was disappointed in the reaction to his custom playlist by fellow members of his Warhammer 40K meetup, sources…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local drone metal fan Judson Riley waited patiently through an entire show to use the bathroom so he wouldn’t miss his favorite…
MONTGOMERY, Ala. — Legal advocacy organization Southern Poverty Law Center recently updated its Hate Map, an interactive tool to track hate groups, to coincide with…
GREENTOWN, Ind. — Local metalhead and harvester Jonas Fitzgerald says this year’s sorrow yield is the highest in decades, according to sources with inside knowledge…
FORT WORTH, Texas — The lead singer of local grindcore band Razor Masturbator found his creative output drop dramatically after his debilitating writer’s block had…
DALLAS — Local middle-aged Slayer fan Doug Ulner was immediately prescribed medication to address his presumed high blood pressure upon his entrance to Southwest Dallas…
OTTAWA, Ontario — Beloved ‘90s singer-songwriter Alanis Morissette updated her classic song “Ironic” to highlight the absurdity that the only attractive member of Limp Bizkit,…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local boxed food mix Rice-A-Roni unveiled a new advertising campaign that featured them embracing their roots in the Bay Area thrash metal…
DES MOINES, Iowa — A new poll shows Kamala Harris’ lead over Donald Trump nearly doubled after telling rallygoers that her favorite Slipknot album was…
When you think about it, life is just a series of decisions. Most of them are completely banal and easily forgotten, and some have the…