YORBA LINDA, Calif. — Sony Music Group announced the acquisition of all recorded works and songwriting property of metalcore outfit Atreyu in a staggering deal…
HOUSTON — Local death metal outfit Baby Skullcrusher announced via social media that they are changing their name to Goatopsy after years of playing under…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Your horny aunt Gladys created an air of tension after expressing a deep and carnal interest in your Type O Negative shirt…
NEW YORK — Local unemployed man George Costanza attempted to impress colleagues by pretending to be a member of metalcore band Architects while out to…
SAN RAFAEL, Calif. — Metallica lead guitarist and wah pedal enthusiast Kirk Hammett couldn’t remember if he is supposed to go to James Hetfield’s mansion…
So many great albums came out this year, and while you definitely meant to listen to them all, did you? What do you think?! You…
Metal is all about precision. The meticulousness of a face-melting solo, the accuracy of a complex repeated riff. The exactness of a relentless blast beat.…
LOS ANGELES — Film director and Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst put an end to years of debate by issuing a statement clarifying that the…
LINKÖPING, Sweden — Confused audience members were shocked at a recent Forest Floor show when the band, dressed in matching cloaks and heavy eyeshadow, began…
PHOENIX — Aging members of local metal band Toxins in the Bloodstream are deep in a spiraling debate about whether they should go all-in with…
NASHVILLE — The newly married Taylor family is disgusted by a shameless act of self-promotion exhibited by the wedding band after they set up a…
PHOENIX — Local Metalhead Josh Gunderson beamed with pride after realizing he is very close to owning a living room set thanks to several cinder…
NEW YORK — Local live music fan Rocco McMillan reportedly came home to find his tickets to an upcoming Every Time I Die show murdered…
TAMPA, Fla. — Norwegian black metal band Emyn Arnen were seen wandering into a JCPenney store after spotting a prominent Black Friday sign in the…
DENVER — Customers of local hotspot SlashCheese, a metal-themed pizza shop with a fittingly grungy exterior and blaring metal playing constantly, reported that the graphic…