DETROIT — Local keyboard player Stacey Rankins entered her tenth year playing keyboards in touring bands, but is still struggling with what her legs should be doing while she is standing on stage, sources close to the musician confirmed.
“The singer and guitar players can walk, jump around, and do roundhouse kicks if they’re feeling particularly nimble. The drummer gets to hide behind a giant kit, nobody even sees his legs. I’m basically stuck in one place making sure my instrument doesn’t tip over and smash a monitor,” said Rankins while watching another Riverdance video for inspiration. “I’ve tried kind of bouncing or doing little shuffles side to side but I’m afraid I just look like an asshole. I’ve been at this forever but every time I go out on stage it’s like I start drawing a complete blank on what to do. I know people can feel my anxiety when they are staring at my stationary feet, and it probably ruins the show for them.”
A recent attendee of a show featuring Rankins noticed that she seemed to be struggling on stage while the band played.
“About ten minutes or so into the show some of us were concerned that she was sick or something. Her legs would kind of start out moving along to the music, but suddenly they would begin jerking around or bending independently of one another,” said Landry Powell. “Then there were some twists or something? I tried to ignore it but she seemed to really freak out up there. A couple of times I saw her looking around like she was trying to see if anyone noticed what was going on and it looked like she might have started crying.”
Piano teacher Leslie Thorpe says this is a struggle that all young players go through and is a common issue afflicting thousands throughout the keyboard community.
“I can’t begin to describe the heartbreak you experience when you glimpse a gifted young player at a keyboard for the first time,” said Thorpe. “The issues start to manifest almost instantly, whether they keep their legs rigid as concrete or start flopping them around like dying fish. I try to comfort them by saying they could always end up the Elton John or Billy Joel type if they have the chops to go solo, but who am I kidding?”
At press time, Rankins was looking at investing in one of the giant floor pianos from the movie “Big” as a solution.