Aging Goregrind Band Now Just Taking Lyrical Inspiration From the Changes Naturally Occurring in Their Own Bodies

FORT MYERS, Fla. — Goregrind band Masticated Genitalia found themselves deriving inspiration from transformations they observed in their own bodies as they got older, sources report.

“When we got started in the early 2000s, I was using an old medical textbook to come up with song ideas and lyrics,” bassist and vocalist Jeff Carter reflected. “That’s where I got titles like ‘Botched Perineoplasty’ and ‘Projectile Torrents of Regurgated Smegmatic Discharge.’ Now that I’ve hit middle age, though, it’s a lot easier for me to just use the daily experience of getting older to gather ideas. I actually just finished writing the lyrics to our upcoming song ‘Advanced Testicular Distension’ after noticing how much my ballsack sags now. A lot of people get stressed out by the process of getting older, but it’s working out pretty well for us.”

Fan Tomas Andrikkson understood what his favorite band was doing.

“I totally get where the guys in Masticated Genitalia are coming from,” Andrikkson said. “I just turned 40 myself, and the other day I got dizzy from standing up too fast. This happened just a couple days after I pulled my groin just stepping into the driver’s seat of my car. I’m going through bullshit like this on a daily basis now, to the point where I’m considering starting a goregrind band myself. Getting old is fucking metal as hell, dude. There’s really no need to get inventive when it comes to writing brutal song lyrics.”

Metal expert Rochelle Asefa weighed in on the situation.

“With extreme metal still being a relatively new genre, we’re just now starting to see bands reach their middle and golden years,” Asefa provided. “And representatives of all subgenres are using it as their muse when writing new material or exhibiting behaviors typical of their music’s style. I just did a case study of an old black metal band in Norway that set fire to their nursing home because they were too tired to walk to the nearest church, and I’ve heard that there’s an old progressive death metal guitarist who set his pacemaker to have his heart beat at 150 BPMs so he could use it as a metronome. We will continue to see situations like this going forward, so I’m excited to see what the future has in store for us.”

At press time, Masticated Genitalia decided to write a concept album about Carter’s upcoming colonoscopy.