NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. – Fleet Foxes frontman Robin Pecknold is leaning into his band’s soothing, homespun charm for their ongoing Summer 2023 Tour by requesting that all venues serve the band’s signature cocktail, the “Jack and Chamomile.”
“1.5 ounces of Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey, 3 ounces of Celestial Seasonings, and a little squeeze of citrus from a local lemon tree. It just works,” exclaimed a cheery Pecknold while refilling his mobile bird feeder with fresh seed. “We want our fans to feel like they’re already tucked into bed with their favorite Jonathan Franzen novel when that ‘Blue Ridge Mountains’ mandolin intro kicks off the encore. If I had it my way, our tour appearances would all be unplugged sets in my Aunt Nancy’s living room, performing until the grandfather clock strikes seven. Alas, it’s just not possible, what with COVID and all.”
Local bartenders seem pleasantly surprised by the strength of these “sleepytime cocktails” that they’ve been tasked with serving up.
“I haven’t eaten a vegetable in over fourteen years, and doctors tell me that if I get within sixty feet of a drum circle, I’ll go into cardiac arrest. So yeah, let’s just say I never thought I’d be caught dead brewing loose-leaf tea at my bar,” said Firefly Distillery owner Mark Cube. “But I’ll tell you, that Yankee forest elf might be onto something. Nice kick, goes down smooth, and coats my throat so that I can yell at my cousins much more efficiently. Thanks Robin, wish you and your boys didn’t smell so much like mulch.”
Fans are already raving about Pecknold’s new concoction, hoping that a canned version might appear on the shelves of their local co-ops soon.
“They’d be a hit at my graphic design office, I’m just sure of it,” said Asheville local and self-proclaimed “Cat Dad” Barnaby Mills. “What a mesmerizing show. Three hours of breathtaking indie folk followed by eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. When I got home, I sat down and filled in every missing piece of my ‘Everything Everywhere All at Once’ jigsaw puzzle, just like that. My REM cycle certainly won’t be having the ‘Helplessness Blues’ any time soon.”
After the roaring success of their new beverage, Fleet Foxes are already stewing on some exciting new substances for elder millennials for their next tour, including Bulgur Cigarettes and non-GMO LSD.