DULUTH, Minn. — Prolific singer-songwriter Bob Dylan revealed that every member of ‘90s rock group The Wallflowers, in addition to frontman Jakob Dylan, is also his son, surprised sources report.
“Oh, I was so proud of my boys when they made it big after releasing ‘Bringing Down the Horse’ back in 1996,” the elder Dylan remembered. “Obviously, they came from a very musical family, what with having me as a father and all. What’s really magical about it is that they all kind of naturally came to their respective instruments. Jakob started playing the guitar as a child, and I can’t remember a time when Rami wasn’t playing the piano. Greg originally played the guitar but switched to bass because Jakob already had that covered. I never forced music on any of them, except maybe the harmonica which they all rejected. I was actually kind of secretly hoping that they’d all become professional football players, but I guess I can’t complain with how things turned out.”
One of Dylan’s sons, Jakob, reflected on the situation.
“Oh, people don’t know that we’re all related? That’s weird,” said The Wallflowers’ singer. “The whole theme of our band is that we’re all from the same household, like The Partridge Family or Hanson. I just assumed everybody already knew that. What, they thought I was the only Dylan son who got into music? Come on, our dad is thought of as the best songwriter of all time. It wouldn’t make any sense for his offspring to not start a successful band together. I’m actually kind of disgusted with our fanbase for not being able to piece that together. Maybe we should call it quits.”
Fan Dana Anderton was surprised to hear the revelation.
“Oh wow, I had no idea they were all Bob Dylan’s kids,” Anderton reacted. “I remember when ‘One Headlight’ came out and it was a huge deal that Bob Dylan’s kid was the frontman for this hot new band, but I never heard that every other member was his son as well. Don’t they all have different names? Oh well, maybe they changed them for whatever reason. Honestly, this is pretty cool. I think I’m going to bust out my old ‘Godzilla 1998’ soundtrack and listen to their song ‘Heroes.’ I’ll just have to skip that awful Diddy song with the Led Zeppelin riff.”
At press time, Bob Dylan revealed that every member of Collective Soul is also his son.
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