LOS ANGELES — Long-time fans of the seminal melodic hardcore punk band Bad Religion were surprised by the unexpected release of their 18th studio album, “Into The Unknown: Part 2,” which mainly focuses on issues surrounding Medicare, sources confirmed.
“We felt the need to take on something that everyone who has followed us from the beginning is going to be battling very soon, the federal Medicare system,” said founding member Brett Gurewitz. “This album is very personal because it’s inspired by many of our own experiences with the struggles and pitfalls of getting coverage and finding doctors familiar with the needs of touring musicians. Greg Graffin and I wrote, what I think, are some of our best songs ever. You’re going to listen to some of the most aggressive punk rock you’ve ever heard from us as we tear down their inefficient phone tree system and ridiculous expectations of forcing us to pick our primary medical providers during a small window every year.”
Many lifelong fans noted that the new album, like many previous Bad Religion albums, opened their eyes to issues they never were completely familiar with.
“I’m only in my mid-30s but to have knowledge and be able to speak on issues related to Medicare Part A and Part B really opens the scope of conversations I can have with other punks and my parents. I wasn’t aware of the unfair treatment people get when they enroll late and get a penalized fee for life! For life!” exclaimed longtime fan Billy Noces. “I’m still about 30 more years out from dealing with Medicare but I’ll be ready when it’s time to quarrel with the feds over health insurance for this misanthropic anthropoid.”
Hours after the release of the album Social Security offices reported receiving a large number of calls from aged punks.
“We understand lots of fans of a certain age are excited to finally enroll in one of many Medicare plans and finally be treated for a pit injury they received in 1991 but we urge you to make sure you have filled out your application properly. Please don’t put ‘Epitaph Records’ as your authorized representative, they have not consented to that, and please don’t include your collection of Gibson Les Paul guitars as tax dependents,” explained Social Security information officer Estrella Torniyo. “And while we understand that Greg Graffin, Dexter Holland, and Milo Aukerman hold Ph. Ds they are not medical physicians and can’t be your primary doctor.”
At press time, Medicare has stated your Sweetwater rep is eligible to be your authorized representative due to them knowing your personal details.
Photo by Stefan Brending.