BURKE, Va. – Local tiny baby Liam Darton was sued by Warner Records on behalf of the Red Hot Chili Peppers after a Tik-Tok video of the child babbling incoherently was found to bear a strong resemblance to several of the band’s songs, confirmed lawyers for the family.
“I could tell from the day we brought him home that little Liam was musically talented and I get that his style is at times similar to Keidis,” said the boy’s father Jon Darton. “But this whole case is just asinine. I’d never allow the Chili Peppers to be played in my house. Liam may have heard like 20 seconds of ‘Black Summer’ on the radio a few times, but only because you couldn’t escape that goddamn song. Beyond that, he has no reference to their music, everything he does is completely original and this is clearly some sort of cash grab.”
Anthony Kiedis, lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers initially smiled upon finding the video, but suddenly was taken aback at the lyrical content.
“People kept sending me a video of this kid with over 1.5 million views just sort of vibing in the cling clong shamma lamma ding dong,” said Kiedis while receiving another tattoo of California on his torso. “When he launched into the ‘chikka chikka dee, do me like a banshee, low brow is how, swimmin’ in a sound of bow wow wow,’ and I just felt it in my soul. He completely lifted that from a very personal poem about my own grief at the loss of a close friend. Which I later used as the basis for the lyrics to ‘Suck My Kiss.’ It doesn’t matter how talented this baby is, he’s still a thief.”
Warner Records Lawyer Mindy Sawyer stated that the case is nothing more than a simple copyright infringement.
“My clients have no desire to see young Liam with the piggies in the hoosegow, or end up lickety split go snap, snap,” said Sawyer. “We only want what we feel is owed to the Chili Peppers. We are citing 17 USC, Sub-Section 102, 401, and 405 which applies a fine of $150,000 per work that is plagiarized. After analyzing the 45-second video, we have now identified 37 Red Hot Chili Peppers songs that seem to be directly lifted from my client’s catalog. This figure doesn’t even include the toll this has taken on Kiedis’ a-di ba-da ba-zumba crunga cong gone bad.”
At press time, David Lee Roth was said to be seeking council after Darton posted a video of young Liam screaming during a temper tantrum.