Well, well, well. It’s been another eventful week for everyone but you. While you’ve been mindlessly scrolling on your phone and working a permanent you-sized groove into your couch, a plethora of new songs have emerged. If you could have been bothered to care, you might have even enjoyed a few of them.
Because we can’t stand to watch your sad demise for even a moment longer, we’ve saved a few of the aforementioned songs for you. Open your eyes to the possibilities of wonder as we take you through some notable new releases.
NOFX “I’m a Rat”
NOFX is currently wrapping up their final string of live shows, but seemingly there are no plans for the band to quit releasing new music. They’ve just announced their latest EP ‘Half Album,’ a continuation of and conclusion to their previous records ‘Single Album’ and ‘Double Album.’ The first single, ‘I’m a Rat,’ apparently contains 54 chords – no, we didn’t count but we’ll take NOFX’s word for it – and continues the lyrical themes of Fat Mike’s most recent journey into sobriety, complete with a metaphor comparing substance abuse to a rat’s cheese addiction. Some things never change.
Strung Out “White Owls”
Pop a couple ibuprofen and pull your old deck out of storage, because Strung Out’s latest single, ‘White Owls,’ sounds like it descended straight from Skate Heaven. Its thrashy riffs and classic melodic hooks make us long for the days when our knees didn’t make that weird popping noise all the time. Aging joints haven’t stopped everyone from going hard on this one, though. One of our senior staffers got so excited when this one dropped that he tried to do a kickflip in the parking lot. He landed it, but ended up breaking his shin in five places. Maybe get a brace if you’re planning on doing more than cruising to this one would be our suggestion.
Stretch Arm Strong “A Revealing”
One of our writers threatened to spin-kick us out of a fourth story window if we didn’t include their favorite track from Stretch Arm Strong’s new EP in the column this week. We were gonna do it anyway, but the enthusiasm wasn’t unwarranted. The South Carolina hardcore heroes’ latest release, ‘The Revealing,’ is their first in nearly two decades. The void left in their absence was so large that, fully absorbed in the abyss, we almost forgot it was there. Thankfully the lights have been turned back on and no one in our office will have to suffer through mediocre hardcore again, or at least until the band inevitably goes on hiatus again.
Hot Water Music “Remnants (Feat. Brendan Yates and Daniel Fang of Turnstile)” “Fences (Feat. Thrice)”
Hot Water Music’s forthcoming album, ‘Vows,’ is slated to be a star-studded event, with guest appearances from seemingly every goddamn band you’ve ever heard of. The bill is so stacked, we’re honestly surprised your hardcore band that broke up six years ago wasn’t asked to hop in. Your old merch guy also ran the band’s e-mail, so it’s possible he just never forwarded the invite. The latest singles ‘Remnants’ and ‘Fences’ feature Brendan Yates and Daniel Fang from Turnstile, and all four members of Thrice respectively. As the old adage goes: It’s not really a party until almost half of Turnstile and all of Thrice show up.
Otoboke Beaver “Don’t Light My Fire”
Our Managing Editor came into the office on Friday with her entire face bandaged up like the Invisible Man. Normally we would think nothing of this blatant attention grabber, but there was actually a little bit of blood under some of the bandages. Needless to say, we figured something was amiss. Turns out she had seen the criminally underrated Japanese punk legends Otoboke Beaver the night before who literally and figuratively ‘ripped her face off’ at some point during their raucous set. Before we could ask more, she threatened to show us the mangled carnage if we didn’t get back to work.
Too lazy to make your own playlist? Yeah, we thought so. That’s why we’ve taken the time to do it for you. You’ll find these songs and countless others by clicking here. Be sure to give it a follow or like or whatever Spotify is calling it now so you always have a way of tricking your loved ones into thinking you finally have good taste.