Prioritizing one’s mental health ain’t no laughing matter and neither are Los Angeles’ Say Anything. Max Bemis, the band’s quick-witted and prolific Brian Wilson-esque figure composer was mentally ill LONG before every band consisting of miscreant members like dick-nugget Trumpie bitch-ass Mike Love bogusly cashed in on said sanity trend. Because of this noteworthy stat and so, so much more, Bemis is a true punk alongside a stretch of disingenuous posers attempting to play catch-up. How futile. Anyway, over the course of its extensive career that started at the turn of the century, Say Anything released eight albums, several EPs, and various singles including 2023’s “Psyche!” the band’s first effort since 2018. We ranked all of these LPs, and although the band’s 2001 debut record “Baseball: An Album by Sayanything” isn’t in the gold medal slot, we implore you to keep reading this treacherous sea of words that both you and Molly Connolly are certainly incorrect about.
8. I Don’t Think It Is (2016)
Despite Kanye West, the alt-right’s most critically-acclaimed soldier, listening to an exclusive advance of a Jewish man’s record, Say Anything’s 2016 LP “I Don’t Think It Is” is a twelve-track experiment that went alt-wrong. Say Anything songs often inspire repeated listens due to their many, many easter eggs, but this abrasive-in-a-meh-way album lacked ample replay value. To prove such, surprise albums from noteworthy acts often get a lot of PR, but buzz seemed to fade about this one shortly after its release. Even its album cover photo looks like an iPhone pic from someone stealing your mobile device at a bar during a quick White Claw piss break.
Play it again: “So Numb”
Skip it: “Wire Mom”
7. Anarchy, My Dear (2012)
As evident with our “play it again” section below for “Anarchy, My Dear,” Say Anything’s debut LP for Equal Vision Records, we’re all about song sequels. “Admit It Again,” track four of 2012’s “Anarchy, My Dear,” was a then-modern inspired part-two to Say Anything’s perfect song “Admit It!” and it has some hot, thought-provoking hot takes, and many legit guffaws. Still, this full-length is inconsistent when one compares it to the band’s other six albums listed next.
Play it again: “Admit It Again”
Skip it: “Anarchy, My Dear”
6. Oliver Appropriate (2019)
Sometimes albums are way too long to effectively digest (more on that later), and other times records leave you thirsty as fuck in a non-creepy literal manner that would still likely get you canceled. The latter is certainly the case for 2019’s “Oliver Appropriate”, which at fourteen songs clocking in at just under thirty-five minutes, feels really, really short for a typically-verbose-in-the-best-way Say Anything LP. However, this potential swan song full-length opens up with and contains the band’s best song title, “The Band Fuel,” and we’re not taking any more shimmering questions on the matter.
Play it again: “Pink Snot”
Skip it: “Fired”
5. Baseball: An Album by Sayanything (2001)
2001’s “Baseball: An Album by Sayanything” is the band’s sole DIY-release LP before a well-deserved bidding war ensued and foreshadowed the band’s not-so-colorblind bright future. Get it? Regardless if you’re an OG fan or not, this is a hell of a debut, and gets further highlighted (sic; we’re clever, but not as clever as Max) on 2013’s three-plus-hour-long expansive compilation “All My Friends Are Enemies: Early Rarities,” also containing 2000’s “Junior Varsity” EP, 2002’s “Menorah/Majora” EP, the “Dormroom Demos,” and other SA rarities. Again, like we mentioned in the opening of this sterling piece, as staunch sticklers for accuracy and brilliance, none of the other EPs and compilations count as proper full-lengths. You’re shamelessly wrong if you attempt to poorly critique us for such and anything else in the comments.
Play it again: “Colorblind”
Skip it: “The Last Great Punk Rock Song”
4. Hebrews (2014)
This section of our soon-to-be-viral Say Anything album ranking piece, which starts again just after this article’s halfway point intermission, contains our second of two Kanye West references. We truly, truly wish that 2014’s “Hebrews’ was the one that Max played for Kanye in so many ways, namely for its seven-letter title, which would inspire Mr. West to write a disjointed but eventually-deleted social media post, and the many, many guest features which, like the next-to-be-mentioned LP, would put a scene band in hip-hop territory. The ambitious and incomparable guitar-less “Hebrews” may get lost in the shuffle of other amazing Say Anything LPs, but we implore you to give it another spin.
Play it again: “Judas Decapitation” (featuring Gareth and Kim Campesinos)
Skip it: “A Look” (featuring Stacy King and Bob Nanna)
3. In Defense of the Genre (2007)
We know, we killed it for all of y’all, and this double album should be ranked differently in this here piece, but we are judging the LP objectively as an entity and without any semblance of emotion whatsoever. Honestly, if 2007’s “In Defense of the Genre” was cut by about 43, 46, or even 47%, it would likely be in the silver medal slot here, but we can’t change the past as much as our whiny pathetic emo hearts would like us to. For this recording and the following album placement listed, despite both being released on a major label, the first singles (respectively the-not-bad-but-middle-of-the-road Say Anything tunes “Baby Girl, I’m A Blur” and “Hate Everyone”) weren’t the best options to escape a sinking ship and successfully launch a record. Oh whale.
Play it again: “The Church Channel”
Skip it: “Died A Jew”
2. Self-Titled (2009)
Full disclosure: We know that you purely look at these album lists out of an unhealthy combination of boredom and spite, and outside of the actual numerical rankings themselves, you don’t even read any of the piece’s actual text. Sad! We work hard on these so do better. Regardless, we know that we gaffed in a not-so-glorious-fashion regarding Say Anything’s 2009 self-titled record’s placement here, as it should be ranked fifth, seventh, or somewhere between the band’s hit LPs “Through Being Cool” or “On a Wire.” As we read on your blue checkmarked Twitter account, your list crushed ours anyway. Still, this #2 placement is undeniably the band’s catchiest effort and an overall enjoyable thirteen tracks front-to-back.
Play it again: “Do Better”
Skip it: “Young Dumb and Stung”
1. …Is a Real Boy (2004)
If you thought that a multi-layered and not-typically-mainstream aggressive rock song touching on a relationship torn apart by the Holocaust called “Alive with the Glory of Love” would successfully infiltrate the world in the mid-aughts you’re far, far more astute than most. If not, and you weren’t scoping absolutepunk.net on your T-Mobile Sidekick, Clive Davis’ J Records sure noticed its potential, and signed the band shortly after the band released its 2004 LP “…Is a Real Boy,” and re-released the record along with some extra songs known as “…Was a Real Boy.” Much lore has been told about this album’s dramatic creation, but regardless of the fact or fiction behind such harrowing tales, this album is a 10/10, and a 21st-century classic without a trampled flag on a city street. Please tell us that “Baseball: An Album by Sayanything” should be the winner here in this piece, we dare you to!
Play it again: “Admit It!!!”
Skip it: Don’t, and then listen to “…Was a Real Boy”