As much fun as it was for me rank all these albums, I was skeptical at what an SEO nightmare it was going to be for me to have my name featured so prominently beside terms like “Group Sex” “Golden Shower” and the six dozen times I had to use the phrase “Circle Jerks” But, luckily for you, I manned up, swallowed my pride, and banged this out (ah jeez.) Anyway, whether you just know them from their self-deprecating cameo as the lounge band in “Repo Man” or respect them to the ends of the earth for solidifying the L.A hardcore sound, The Circle Jerks are punk legends for a damn good reason. And I’m more than happy to destroy my reputation to future employers who may be Googling me on their behalf.

6. Wönderful (1985)

One of two albums of theirs that clocks in at over 30 minutes, and you know what they say: if a Circle Jerks record lasts longer than a half hour, consult a physician immediately. Though it’s got some fun stuff going on at various points – the Seven Dwarfs-esque whistling on the hook of the title track, and that magnificent country-fried guitar solo on “Mrs. Jones” come to mind – it just isn’t up to the snotty, rabid standard we know these fellas are capable of. At the end of the day, Wönderful is a tad ünderwhelming.

Play It Again: “Dude”
Skip It: “15 Minutes”

5. Oddities Abnormalities and Curiosities (1995)

Known as the only major label release from our boys, we’re going to dub this “not the worst” due to the sheer experimentation. After almost a decade of not recording, these fellows could have gone full dad-reunion mode and gone through the motions, but hell, they let Zander Schloss play the sitar on this thing, so who are we to rank it last? They’re throwing everything against the wall, and some of it even sticks (this is the Circle Jerks we’re talking about here, so those walls are pretty sticky to begin with.)

Play It Again: “Brick” comes closest to sounding like their classic sound.
Skip It: “Sinking Ship”

4. VI (1987)

A considerable step up from Wönderful, VI may slow the tempos a tad, but it certainly doesn’t ease up on the energy! A lot of the time, they sound akin to a stimulant-affected Psychedelic Furs, which is pretty cool. The kickoff track “Beat Me Senseless” toggles a “Crazy Train”-like riff into something undeniably sick. Also, they keep their penchant for revving up ‘60s classics alive by snarling through a rendition of “Fortunate Son” that rips pretty hard.

Play it Again: “I’m Alive”
Skip It: “Casualty Vampires”

3. Wild In The Streets (1982)

Wild in the Streets doesn’t quite reach the inept catharsis of their debut, but it’s lightyears away from anything approaching a sophomore slump. Tiptoeing deftly across the tightrope strung up over a pit full of “same ol’, same ol’,” Wild in the Streets deserves to be firmly in the top three. Hetson’s guitar work is especially in the spotlight here, elevating songs like “Leave Me Alone” and their cover of “Just Like Me” to total essentials.

Play It Again: “Wild in the Streets”
Skip It: “Murder the Disturbed”

2. Group Sex (1980)

The type of album you have to yell “Fire in the hole!” before putting on, so the folks in your general vicinity are aware of what’s about to happen. The Circle Jerks’ debut is brash, bratty and beguilingly brief. It even gives us a “Beverly Hills” song that we actually want to listen to (Sorry, Rivers Cuomo.) Cementing their juvenile sense of humor and flagrant disregard for anything requiring an attention span, “Group Sex” plants the flag for SoCal hardcore…just don’t expect any flowers to grow anywhere near it. Too much beer and urine in that soil.

Play it Again: “World Up My Ass”
Skip it: Good luck skipping any, man. They’ll be over before you reach the button.

1. Golden Shower of Hits (1983)

Speaking of the yellow stuff…Here we have the culmination of everything the Circle Jerks are all about. Blistering chainsaw riffs, croaked-throat vocals from Keith Morris in his prime, and a hefty dose of toilet jokes. From the door-kicking-down “In Your Eyes” to the tongue-in-cheek closing medley of soft-rock radio hits, and everything crammed in between, there’s a reason it’s not called “Silver or Bronze Shower of Hits”…this one takes the gold.

Play It Again: Sure
Skip It: Like a stone, across the river, landing perfectly on a turntable on the other side.