Medieval Times! There’s no greater meal you can get with entertainment for $65. Many co-workers and family members might think there’s something the matter for having such a great meal by oneself on a Saturday night. Here’s why they are wrong.
The Staff Gives You A Pity Discount At The Gift Shop 
You can save a ton of cash money on a plastic heater shield if the gift shop peasants feel bad enough for you. Jokes on them though, you don’t need to be pitied. You got a shield!
You Can Look At The Swords In The Gift Shop As Long As You Want
Blacksmiths worked very hard foraging those swords. If you’re with friends, they will complain that 30 minutes is too long to look at each one. They’ll also get in the way when you try test-swinging them around while humming the “Beserk” theme.
It’s Way More Dignified Than Rainforest Cafe
Your personal entertainment will be real humans. None of that animatronic crap. Technically you’re not alone that way.
You Won’t Need To Edit Anyone Out Of Your Photo Later On
Some friendships just don’t last. I’m not going to get into it but it’s not worth the $20 for the photo if you have to marker over former friends.
You Get To Be The Subject Of Other People’s Conversations
It might be a little awkward to hear someone murmuring “why is he at Medieval Times alone,” “do you think his date stood him up?” or the ever-popular “don’t let him near the kids,” but still, it’s nice to know people are thinking about you sometimes.
Nobody Will Be Able to Tell You’re Not A Real King When You Get Your Paper Crown
Some people, SOME PEOPLE, like to ruin the magic of a paper crown Medieval Times or otherwise. If I want to be King for a day, you have no right to question my royalty.
You Get To Explain To The Wenches That Corn Wasn’t Introduced To Europe Until The Discovery Of America
Look, I know I just said I don’t want to ruin the magic of the night, but it’s a huge flaw and I want the staff to know that I know about their historical anachronism, without a lousy colleague trying to stop me.
You’ll Form A Stronger Bond With The Knight Who Represents Your Table
If you buy the whole section that represents the green knight, then that means that the knight is your personal champion. He battles for you and you alone!
Nobody Will Try To Talk To You During The Jousting 
Nobody is trying to distract you with conversations. It’s just you, two horses, two knights, and a whole lot of suspense. Do you hear that, Alex? No talking about how I seem too distant these days while the horsies and running into each other!
It Feels More Magical When A Horse Makes Eye Contact With You
If someone is sitting next to you there’s a chance the horse is looking at them not you. When you’re alone, you know the horse is looking at you for sure.
The Kid’s Birthday Also Happening Might Offer A You Free Slice Of Cake
The one I got last time was from a Shrek cake and I didn’t even have to get the kid a present. His dad just gave me a slice and asked me not to make any eye contact.
The Queen Will personally ask you if you’re okay
You might be royalty for the day, but the Queen is the Queen and she’s speaking to you personally!