MEMPHIS — Local artisanal oil maker Lacy Timber demanded that a man wearing a “This Is What A Feminist Looks Like” T-shirt name three feminists on the spot, sources who aren’t posers confirmed.
“I encourage everyone to contribute to this scene, but I could tell just by looking at him that he probably got that shirt from his older sister and is now using it to get into the scene,” Timber recalled, of the shirt seen worn at a local anti-deportation rally. “He only knows the super well-known feminists like Angela Davis and he named Rebecca Solnit but her ‘Men Explain Things To Me’ blog was huge, so that’s a no-brainer. He couldn’t even name a third one and probably couldn’t name any 16th to 18th-century feminists, but he’s kind of hot in a dumb guy kind of way.”
Timber’s best friend Mary Heller adjusted her pussy hat while commenting in support of Timber.
“He didn’t even think of Hillary Clinton and she was just on the chopping block,” said Heller. “Honestly, men would rather wear a feminist T-shirt rather than work on their patriarchy through therapy, am I right? We were trying to educate him and have a conversation with him but he kept running behind the booths. It just goes to show that if you confront these kinds of posers, their true self comes to light.”
A local organizer at the demo, Slade Christianson, begged to differ.
“Yeah, I don’t know who those people are, but Adam [Flaust] has been volunteering at every demo event for the past four years that I’ve been a part of organizing it. He might have been here before me,” Christianson explained. “They’re berating a volunteer at a deportation demo. It reminds me of Patricia Hill Collins’ Matrix of Domination theory where we are all in the position of oppressor and oppressed depending on the context. At this moment, they seem oddly oppressive and just generally weird.”
At press time, Timber sent suggested reading materials to multiple members of the press as a means of “sharing some important information.”