PALM BEACH, Fla. — Despite existing only as a series of crudely sketched plans on cocktail napkins and one AI-generated image architects have described as “defying the law of physics,” the Trump Presidential Library has formally filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, confirmed sources.
“While no physical location, architectural plans, or tangible fundraising efforts currently exist, the library has still somehow amassed over $731 million in debt to various vendors, contractors, and a man who claims to have had homosexual intercourse with President Obama,” said project spokesperson Tim Kole. “Supposing that a semblance of a plan will take shape by 2030, with inflation due to tariffs, that brings the number closer to $2.8 billion. We see this not as a failure, but as a strategic pivot in the spirit of American enterprise. Like Trump Steaks, Atlantic City, or the Fyre Festival.”
White House staff claim that site plans included a gift shop, banquet hall, and a “Trump’s Patriots Reflection Lounge,” with no mention of archival materials.
“The Trump Presidential Library was always intended to be less of a library in the traditional sense and more of a place for whites, three blacks, and one gay to worship the 47th President,” said White House Press Secretary Karoline Claire Leavitt. “The ‘Reading Room’ was going to be a dark hallway that just played Trump rally clips on loop. The ‘Research Wing’ was going to be a hat kiosk. The media wing would have played ‘Fox and Friends’ on a 24-hour loop.”
Legal experts say the filing marks the first time in U.S. history a building not yet planned in any formal sense has declared bankruptcy.
“The only real physical asset appears to be a signed copy of ‘The Art Of The Deal,’ unless you count an 80-foot bronze statue of the president that they just have on hand in case anyone needs one,” said bankruptcy attorney Kebby Munch, leafing through the 3,439-page filing. “Unfortunately, most courts don’t recognize personal branding as collateral. It’s frankly impressive. There is no precedent for a bankrupt non-entity.”
At press time, organizers were optimistic after a GoFundMe launched to “Protect The Economic Integrity and Patriotism Of Trump Library for Whites” raised more than $500 million.