LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Local hardcore kid and devoted scene-supporter Bryce Graves has officially drawn the line at dating women from within his DIY community, despite engaging in every other aspect of it, unsurprised sources confirmed.
“You don’t shit where you eat, so you shouldn’t jizz where you mosh. I believe in supporting the scene with everything I’ve got… but that doesn’t mean I want to sleep with it,” Graves said of the scene he pours his blood, sweat, tears, and vomit into, fully and aggressively, 24/7. “I mean, wouldn’t it be kinda weird to date someone from the same place that comprises 100 percent of my social life; is how I met all my friends, my roommates, my bands, and got several of my jobs; and is also where I buy all my clothes? I don’t wanna seem one dimensional or something.”
Fellow scene members had mixed feelings about Graves’ statement before ultimately dismissing it as “not super surprising for a dude, honestly.”
“I’ve seen him at every single show here since we were in high school, and he’s never brought a woman I recognize,” said Natalie Lobos, drummer for local band Cockjaw. “It doesn’t really bother me — it’s just weird. He once lectured me for a half hour because I brought a flask to a show instead of buying beer at the venue. But I bought the liquor next door… and he brought the intern at his dad’s marketing firm, whose main interest seems to be just going to Target. So who’s betraying the scene more?”
Self-proclaimed ally Leonard Finkle was particularly “outraged and offended” by Graves’ decision.
“It’s bullshit the way this guy refuses to support the beautiful, sexy ladies in our scene,” said Finkle. “He hosts a public access radio show called ‘Locals Only’ at 2 a.m. every single night, but he won’t spend at least some of those evenings with one of these smart, beautiful girls? It’s got me worried, I won’t lie — if a scene’s babes don’t feel respected, they’ll leave for a different scene. Or, worse, make their own.”
At press time, a recent hookup of Graves’ started coming to shows regularly on her own — a decision he’s supported by ignoring her completely and warning other scene guys to stay away from her, as she’s “crazy.”
Article by Lauren Lavín and Krissy Howard.