HORN LAKE, Tenn. — A search party was convened today to find local woman and Instagram user Yani Park after loved ones noticed she hadn’t posted anything on the app in over two weeks, according to concerned sources.
“This is honestly the most communication I’ve gotten from any of my friends in like, several years… or possibly ever,” Park said of the three text messages she received weeks after departing from Instagram. “I didn’t realize that if you weren’t posting daily content of your breakfast or photos of your dog sleeping that friends would instantly assume the worst. I didn’t even get this much attention when my mother died in a car accident last year.”
Friend and longtime follower Casey Bobadilla first grew concerned when Park didn’t post anything to her Instagram stories for several days.
“It was a Monday afternoon. I was in the bathroom and scrolling through like usual when I went to share a best_of_grindr post with her… but I couldn’t find her username,” Bobadilla recalled. “That’s when I realized I hadn’t seen any stories from her in almost a week. I literally got chills. The room started spinning.”
“She always talked about deleting her social media someday, but I can’t believe the crazy bitch actually went and did it,” she added. “She’s probably getting up early and baking bread or learning a language or something with all the free time. I just hope she’s safe, wherever she is.”
Others assumed Park was using the break from the social media app to tend to her own personal needs.
“I did notice she hadn’t posted or liked anything for a while… but honestly, I kinda just assumed she was having some sort of breakdown or something,” explained ex-boyfriend Daryl Nash, who still follows Park as the former pair are “cool now” and he has “no hard feelings.” “Whatever’s up, she’ll snap out of it. I see her pop up on Bumble like, every three months with a brand new profile. You know, self care and shit.”
At press time, exactly zero people had responded to text messages from Park seeking a ride home from the hospital, although a selfie featuring her hooked up to an IV drip with the caption “FML” posted two days ago has reached an impressive 114 likes on Facebook.