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Scene Unity! Mixed Bill Show Gives Everyone in Crowd Something to Complain About

LEXINGTON, Ky. — Members of the local music scene report a stronger sense of unity than they ever experienced thanks to the shared disgust and hatred of a mixed bill show currently happening at The Loft, multiple sources confirmed.

“Look I don’t go to shows to discover new bands or genres, I go to shows to see bands that match my taste and that’s it,” said local Mark Carter. “It makes no sense for a pop punk band like Morning Glow to open for metalcore fucking legends Stillborn Grave. I will say though, the pop punk kids seem equally annoyed, and even though they’re here for the wrong band and everything they like is trash, it’s nice that we can all agree this is bullshit. Normally I’d never talk to these dorks, but some of their heckles are actually pretty funny. Maybe we aren’t that different after all.”

While mixed bill shows have historically helped bands expand their music to new audiences, fan pushback has the current groups in question wondering whether or not it’s worth it.

“We kinda hate tour announcements because our fans are always commenting things like ‘oh, why don’t you bring X band on tour instead’ and it’s like, we just toured with them seven months ago,” said Stillborn Grave bassist Tina Sumner. “We’re stoked to have Morning Glow opening for us because we love their music and we’ve been friends for years. People criticize us for sounding like other metalcore bands, but then complain when we don’t bring those bands on tour. You can’t fucking win.”

Some booking agents have found building a multi-genre bill to be challenging, others claim it’s made their jobs much easier, including veteran Cam Porter.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret. Sometimes I really do just put a bunch of band names on a dart board and whatever ones I hit are the ones I call,” said Porter. “That, or I just put my liked songs on Spotify on shuffle and try to come up with a lineup that way. One time I booked a show that featured a dream pop, deathcore, and folk punk band. It sold out and it was also some of the best people watching I’ve ever seen. I felt like Jane Goodall observing the crowd interacting with one another. This is truly the easiest money I’ve ever made.”

At press time, sources reported seeing Carter attempting to discreetly purchase Morning Glow merch.