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Roadie Clearly Only Got Job Because His Father is Roadie Sr.

VENTURA, Calif. – Inexperienced roadie Rodger Siminek Jr. is fighting accusations that he only got his job as the guitar tech for California surf-grass trio Newt Fire because of his well-connected father, crew members who are sick of listening to him bitch report.

“I grew up on tours, tagging along with my dad who worked as a guitar tech my whole childhood. I always thought he had the coolest job in the world,” the younger Siminek said. “My dad actually urged me to reconsider a life on the road when I first told him it was what I wanted to do. I’ve worked ostensibly hard for everything I’ve gotten, so it’s super annoying when people assume bands only hire me because they know who my father is. Even though he was helpful with the whole ‘it’s not what you know, it’s who you know’ thing.”

Rodger Siminek Sr. is full of pride that his son has chosen to follow in his footsteps.

“Roadie Jr. has wanted to work on tour crews since he was a little kid. He knew how to string a guitar before he knew how to hold a pencil, and over the years has become one of the best in the business. He’s making his old man real proud” said the elder Siminek, wiping a tear from his eye. “And he did it all on his own. The fact that I happen to be extremely influential, respected, and financially stable, has nothing to do with it.”

Adjunct professor Steven Schwarton, who teaches courses in entertainment business practices at Half Sail University (Online), asserts that the media’s recent coverage of nepotism in the entertainment industry is not unfounded.

“It’d be crazy to think having parents who are well-known and well-connected isn’t a significant advantage. Just look at that new merch kid Tommy Shurtz! First gig of his life was heading the merch booth for the Foo Fighters and he’s lined up to tour with Blink-182 next year. Tell me that has nothing to do with being the son of merch legend Big Thomas Shurtz.”

At press time, Roadie was overheard telling a group of doting fans that ‘Mr. Roadie’ is his father, and to please just call him ‘Roadie.’