LAS VEGAS — Punk Rock Museum attendee Keith Pauline admitted to being a bit confused about the origins of a pile of vomit in the corner and left wondering if it’s an interactive part of an exhibit, sources taking photos with the puke confirmed.
“I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be awe-struck, disgusted, or reminded that punk is unpredictable and puke could be anywhere. I mean, that throw-up could’ve come out of the mouth of Joey Ramone himself for all I know. But it also could have just been some guy who had too much to drink before coming here,” said Pauline. “The fact that it wasn’t behind glass didn’t help either, touching it could just be part of the experience. I did see a service dog lick some of it at one point, and none of the security guards said anything, so I’m really confused.”
Punk Rock Museum founder and NOFX frontman and bassist “Fat” Mike Burkett confirmed that he is also not sure of the vomit’s origins.
“Who’s to say where it came from. If it is part of an exhibit, someone might have approved it without me knowing. But it could have just been a random person, hell, it could’ve been me. It wouldn’t be the first time I puke in this place, it won’t be the last,” said Burkett. “I mean, NOFX is going on our farewell tour, and if anyone happened to catch me sober, I know people wouldn’t think I’m really dedicated to what our fanbase expects from us. So it’s entirely possible that I threw up there and forgot about it.”
Punk rock historians have been attempting to identify the source of the vomit since it was first found.
“Punk vomit identification is a very new concept that still has a long way to go,” said punk scholar Daniel Williams. “The world just isn’t ready for it yet. But it’s not a complicated process. I’ve been collecting samples from popular punk musicians for years now, most of them will give it to you if you give them $10, they’re pretty desperate for money. After that, it’s just a matter of comparing the unknown sample with the known ones, things like texture and taste are the best ways to determine if two samples are alike. I’m very limited by the number of samples I have though, so I may never be able to say for sure who this exact vomit belongs to.”
At press time, attendees of the museum were wondering if they would be charged extra if they accidentally stepped in any of the puddles of piss on the bathroom floor.