NEW YORK — Veteran courtroom sketch artist, and self-proclaimed “MAGA diehard,” Terry Bonilla was reprimanded by county officials for continually drawing former President Donald Trump as Superman during his fraud trial, sources confirmed.
“I’m just drawing Trump exactly as I see him in court, with his biceps rippling after a long day of draining the swamp, his traps bulging through his suit jacket from carrying our Democracy on his broad shoulders, and don’t even get me started on the overwhelming bulge in his pants. God willing I’ll be able to sketch that treasure someday,” said Bonilla. “I was told to draw him ‘normal’ or else I’d be fired. But I really can’t draw him any other way, it wouldn’t be my truth. I was also told I needed to stop drawing Letitia James as the devil. It seems like Trump isn’t the only one under a gag order in this room.”
Court Stenographer Carolynn Aimes says it’s distracting working next to Bonilla.
“My job is to listen and type out what is being said by the prosecution and defense, but all day I can hear Terry scribbling on his notepad saying ‘Go get ‘em Donny’ under his breath. And any time Mr. Trump stands up Terry stands at attention and salutes,” said Aimes. “And any time the former president shifts in his chair or coughs or anything Terry starts pumping his fist like he’s cheering on the Knicks. I tried moving my chair the other day, but he set up behind me and kept talking about how our new angle really shows off Trump’s strong core.”
Lyle Hill, the owner and proprietor of a store dedicated to Trump memorabilia, hopes to get his hands on some of the courtroom sketches.
“I wish I could be in that courtroom supporting my president. Unfortunately, I have a few warrants and if I show up to the court I might not walk out. Either way, it brings a tear to my eyes to see Trump portrayed so accurately in media,” said Hill. “I’ve noticed that normal photographs of Trump don’t sell well. It turns out modern cameras can’t quite capture his muscle definition and stature. It takes a true visionary to draw Trump as the mountain of muscles we all see him as. I’ve been sending all the profits from my store to the Trump defense fund, I hope he comes by to visit when this all blows over.”
At press time, Bonilla was debating on how gigantic he should draw Ivanka Trump’s boobs while on the stand.