PHILADELPHIA — Problematic punk Tom “Bigfoot” LaTucci was officially exiled from the local scene by the Punk Elder Tribunal this morning and banished to the…
CUMBERLAND, Md. — Self-described “trivia nut” Nick Fostenbury believed he correctly identified the four members of the folk-rock band Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young at…
NEW YORK — New research funded by Fortune 500 CEOs revealed that improving work-life balance will decrease the size of your schlong, which prompted many…
COLUMBUS, Ohio – Superhero and crusader for the environment Captain Planet is reportedly ready to throw in the towel on his quest to conserve nature’s…
SCHENECTADY, N.Y. — Local punk John “Cancerbreath” O’Connor wasn’t quite sure if he needed auto or homeowners insurance to live in his 1987 Dodge Omni,…
HOBOKEN, N.J. — Local host Dave Pendleton told guest and longtime friend Jeremy Adler to “just help himself to anything in the fridge” despite only…
ANTIGO, Wisc. — Courteous 6’3” man Chris Haller offered to narrate the action happening on stage at a local Wet Nips show to 4’11” woman…
On a night no different than any other, we found ourselves a bit bored and sadly out of weed. We were pretty certain we had…
SAN JOSE — Local middle-aged guy Tom O’Donnell admitted he exclusively skates the curbs surrounding urgent care parking lots in order to increase the efficiency…
WASHINGTON — The Supreme Court overhauled their bribery process and made it more efficient by installing plaques with Venmo payment codes on the front of…
MONTGOMERY, Ala. — A recent survey of tattoo enthusiasts found that the once-popular finger mustache tattoo surpassed the swastika as the most removed tattoo in…
NEW YORK — New streaming service Advu, now available on all platforms, allows users to just play commercials in the background while they look at…
LOS ANGELES — Warner Bros. Discovery CEO and president David Zaslav announced a new Max exclusive titled “David’s Law” which will feature Zaslav as the…
GREELY, Colo. — Local mother-in-law Angela Vaughn is going to great lengths to keep her sons’ and daughters’ spouses informed about celebrities who have recently…
NEW CALIFORNIA, Ohio — Local man Trent Palmer desperately concealed his infected forearm from other survivors after a surprise attack from a crust punk, confirmed…