MILWAUKEE — Local punk Noah Vickens harbored resentment against people who don’t bat an eye at his appearance, confirmed sources who shrugged their shoulders as…
JERUSALEM — Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu reportedly forced his weekly game night attendees to play Crimes Against Humanity for the twelfth consecutive Saturday, despite…
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook announced that the tech giant would begin harvesting beloved Saturday morning cartoon icon Captain Planet for rare minerals…
I knew going into the office kitchenette was a mistake. I foolishly exchanged pleasantries with someone from accounting, I think his name is Harold but…
ATLANTA — Hooters officials announced a new promotion for their chain of nearly 500 restaurants nationwide to offer free food on Sundays to fathers who…
MINNEAPOLIS — Registered sex offender Tim Finhook was court-mandated to go door to door in an effort to inform neighbors that he’s a part of…
CHICAGO — David Arrivale and Michelle Esposito were tragically separated after wandering too close to a mosh pit during a recent Good Hangs show, confirmed…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Former Florida representative Matt Gaetz informed his girlfriend Valentina he will be able to go to her 15th birthday party after ending…
WASHINGTON — The world’s richest man Elon Musk and President-elect Donald Trump are reportedly closer than ever after finding common ground while discussing which of…
CHULA VISTA, Calif — After spending hours trying to put her newly washed duvet cover back on her comforter, an exhausted, sweat-covered Elianna Davies finally…
DANBURY, Conn. — 48-year-old Bruce Wallach wishes contemporary rappers would introduce themselves as they did in ‘80s hip hop, sources near him in line at…
NEW YORK — Local 27-year-old Kaitlyn Myers reportedly underwent the most extreme manic episode of her life that, by everyone else’s standards, pretty much just…
When it comes to British comedies, fan favorite “Peep Show” is a top-tier classic that easily stands among the best in the genre. Smartly written,…
FAIRFAX, Va. – Local punk parents Cindy Brooklyn and Liam Hillhurst were found playing a new game called “The Toilet is Lava” with their children…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local bartender Scott Wilson informed his coworkers he’d be taking an indefinite smoke break as he’d reached the point of exhaustion from ignoring…