Dan Kozuh
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DENVER — Despite living in a fully legal state, having no roommates, and being gifted a climate-controlled humidor for his…
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Jamie Godin
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ATLANTA, Ga. — Local punk Chester “Scuzz” Martin is reportedly getting his life together after abandoning street drugs in favor…
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Doug Kolic
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BRANSON, Mo. — A couple who recently welcomed the birth of a beautiful baby boy were inconsolable after it became…
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Brian Wishart
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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Local father Jim Lapkus, who seemingly abandoned his family four years ago after saying he was just…
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Doug Kolic
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DULUTH, Minn. — A local piece of shit maître d’ at an upscale French bistro reportedly never passed on a…
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Jennifer Donovan
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REVERE, Mass. — Local porn addict AJ Robkowski reportedly watched so much AI porn that he no longer finds real-life…
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Joe Rumrill
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GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Touring Australian egg-punk band PENCIL PILE were heard to be dropping major hints that they’d like…
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Ben Sobieck
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Noted music scene advocate Sean Burton was fatally shot in an incident identical to a prediction made…
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Matt Husser
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BOISE, Idaho — One grandpa's harrowing tale of “walking to school uphill both ways” failed to land with his 15-year-old…
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Tim Sheard
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LOS ANGELES — Well-known idiot Donald Robertson was beside himself with amazement when ChatGPT was able to produce an unexceptional…
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