Tallahassee Bob here, and it’s with a heavy heart that I have to announce that my beloved Child Casino and Discount Fireworks Emporium will be…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Officials at Churchill Downs announced that, for the first time ever, jockeys participating in this year’s Kentucky Derby will be shot on…
SAN DIEGO – Local parent Nicholas Klein began to question the playlist he made for his kid’s wild animal-themed birthday party after finally paying attention…
SALEM, Mass. — Mallory and Piotr Rhodes proudly declared that the small, unassuming Black Lives Matter sign outside their sprawling 11-bedroom, 6-bath mansion is the…
NEW YORK — Former President Trump’s Defense Attorney Emil Bove used his time cross-examining former National Enquirer Publisher David Pecker about whether or not Elvis…
SAN FRANCISCO — The author of an upcoming biography of Elon Musk found evidence suggesting his obsession with the letter X is due to it…
NEW YORK — Local cop Thomas Hannon admitted that he’s excited about his upcoming paid leave of absence once he is disciplined for brutalizing a…
OMAHA, Neb. — Mason Asghar, the head bouncer at local club Arroz Con Pollster, recently let in an enormous wooden horse without giving it a…
LANSING, Mich. — Local 72-year-old conservative Gerald Wakowski was on the verge of a complete meltdown after a passerby misgendered his coveted ‘77 Ford Mustang,…
LOS ANGELES – Local millennial woman, Jane Torrio was left stunned and envious after discovering how much easier, effective, and better her cat’s health insurance…
CONCORD, N.H. — Readers across the country were horrified to find that the “about the author” page on a new bestseller gave insight into some…
LOS ANGELES — NBC announced they would be expanding its One Chicago universe this fall by focusing on the punk scene with “Chicago Hardcore,” network…
LOS ANGELES – Millennials recently found themselves bawling with tears of joy after Steve Burns of “Blue’s Clues” fame once again touched their hearts by…
FIJI — A lifelong punk rock devotee in the middle of his tenure on this season’s “Survivor” repeatedly attempted to vote out Ronald Reagan at…
NEW YORK — Nine-year-old Oliver Cahill, who has battled rare brain cancer for over half his life, recently met Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson thanks to…