BURLINGTON, Vt. — Illustrious community figure and progressive activist Theodore Barnard was not above using hate speech and slurs as words to win a game…
PHILADELPHIA – A groundbreaking thought experiment shows that Schrödinger’s Boys have apparently returned to town while simultaneously enjoying the delights of the countryside, according to…
PHOENIX, Ariz. — An Arizona judge recently sentenced a man who ate his roommate’s leftovers to two years in federal prison in a monumental case…
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Instagram’s PR team apologized recently after a glitch temporarily restored the app to something resembling what it used to be when…
In the words of Steve Miller and his band, time keeps on slipping into the future. Do you want to feel old? Well, guess what?…
AUSTIN, Texas — Hardcore band Mindforce appeared on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast after they were mistaken for a brain-boosting supplement, according to confused, kettlebell-curling…
VANCOUVER, Wash. – Local office worker and self-proclaimed feminist Bryce Coquet loudly reprimanded a female coworker for having the audacity to mention that she had…
POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. — A group of audiophiles and cinephiles met this week to compete against each other for the title of worst -phile, confirmed sources…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local man Seth Beaudreault achieved the longest health kick of any American trying to eat better, breaking the world record with…
CANCÚN, Mexico — Junior Texas Senator Ted Cruz used a small portion of his Frequent Fleeing Texas Storm Miles reward points to upgrade from business…
NEW YORK — Local 36-year-old loser Ryan Buttermyer reportedly maintained a heroic ten-minute wait period before confirming he’d be at a party, despite having absolutely…
Hand to god, this thing was a steal. At least I thought it was. 2001 Pontiac Aztek GT. 40k miles. One owner. Spotless Carfax report.…
SWEETHAVEN VILLAGE — Mosh pitters of a recent Harbored Frustrations show were apprehensive when they noticed Popeye in the pit within grabbing distance of a…
BOSTON — Players, coaches, and administrators for the Boston Celtics celebrated their record-breaking 18th title and claimed the victory was revenge for the city of…
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Local punk outfit Scrotal Revolt recently began opening shows with a formal acknowledgment of guitar parts they’ve stolen and appropriated for their…