BUTLER, Penn. — A loose, and utterly disgusting, accidental bowel movement inside former President Trump’s underwear admitted it was already stinking up the surrounding area…
WASHINGTON — President Biden’s struggling campaign was given a sudden boost with his approval numbers at record highs after releasing a blistering diss track aimed…
HOUSTON – A local couple who initially met at a Weezer are reportedly lying to friends and family, by claiming they found each other through…
WASHINGTON — Top Democratic decision-makers are reportedly doing damage control after President Biden confessed to multiple murders on a hot mic after another damaging public…
PORTLAND—Local man and self-confessed “introverted-ass” Will Dobbs is pleading for a real-life equivalent to the popular text and Instagram “like message” feature, chronically online sources…
WASHINGTON — An army of dads from across the nation descended upon the capital in a wave of cargo shorts and socks with sandals to…
GOSPORT, Ind. — Local grocery store clerk Max Fine, who was recently diagnosed with a tumor in his frontal lobe, announced plans this week to…
SAYREVILLE, N.J. — The staff of a local Petco could only roll their eyes in secondhand embarrassment as punk Victor Simmons was clearly attempting to…
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Local 43-year-old man Reggie Ferns believed it was harder to make friends in his 40s despite not having much luck in every…
COLLEGE PARK, Md. – A new study suggests that the Cro-Mags may have used Pro Tools in the Late Hardcore Phase, contradicting earlier theories about…
PORTLAND, Ore.—Sage Copeland, who has never driven a day in his life, is adamant that his automobile abstinence is an environmental thing and nothing else,…
DARBY, Penn. — Local punk mother Janelle Zander was mortified to discover her son, whom she believed was out partying with friends, was actually diligently…
Growing up as a millennial was tough. The internet came along and changed the world, and our parents were too self-absorbed and lead-poisoned to ever…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local “occasional” smoker Samantha Terrett recently realized her secret pack of cigarettes reserved for emergencies was empty for the fifth time this…
GARY, Ind. — Chicago-bound United passenger Colin Jenkins refused to uncross his arms and assume the crash position despite the plane being in an irreversible…