LEXINGTON, KY. — Lily Jones, personal therapist to resident Alex Hirata, would like him to know that yes it’s okay to masturbate as a form…
WASHINGTON — President Biden stood firm in his refusal to step down and issued a long, incoherent, often confusing, warning to any Democrats looking to…
BELLEVILLE, NJ — Financially savvy 38-year-old Scott Lawry revealed his secret to saving $50 is to spend several hours shopping at multiple grocery stores, confused…
HELSINKI, Finland — University of Helsinki researchers released results of a study showing the Sunday Scaries are gradually encroaching on the earlier days of the…
BETHEL PARK, Penn. — New information about Matthew Crooks, the 20-year-old registered Republican who made a failed attempt to kill former President Trump, shows his…
ARLINGTON, Texas — Americans everywhere took a brief pause from threatening to kill each other online to share that they believe Ingrid Andress should have…
JOHNSON CITY, N.Y. — Local music fan Alan Rickland was feeling a bit sad recently after the bug that had been living in his ear…
NEW YORK — Anthony Constantino, the co-founder of popular custom sticker maker Sticker Mule, sent a rambling email to all his customers about his bizarre…
OLATHE, Kan. — Local 34-year-old Gareth Tabbler was somehow eligible to receive food stamps despite already having three full-time jobs, according to sources concerned for…
Trump Campaign Confirms He Was Hit By Four Shots But His Love For America Acted As Bullet Proof Vest
Trump Campaign Confirms He Was Hit By Four Shots But His Love For America Acted As Bullet Proof Vest
BUTLER, Penn. — Trump campaign officials confirmed that the attempted assassination of the former President this past weekend resulted in a minor injury to his…
When you see a car accident it’s tough to look away. You know you might see something that could haunt your dreams for months to…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Scientists at M.I.T’s prestigious Zoom Studies Lab reportedly identified the first online meeting to begin without terrible, meaningless small talk. “Observations on…
Here are some fun facts you might not know about kids; they have more tastebuds than adults, they’re born ambidextrous, and their undying loyalty is…
WASHINGTON — President Biden insists he’s not dropping out of the presidential race even though his head was separated from his body in a freak…
BUTLER, Penn. — A loose, and utterly disgusting, accidental bowel movement inside former President Trump’s underwear admitted it was already stinking up the surrounding area…