SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Two rival drum circles were forced to reconcile their differences and form one civilized unemployment line, sources willing to get close…
DENVER — A multinational non-renewable energy corporation is attempting to pin all of Earth’s environmental problems on an individual from Colorado, according to sources who…
LOS ANGELES — The newest installment of the classic punk and heavy metal documentary series “Decline of the Western Civilization” will feature a telling look…
You can’t turn on the damn TV without seeing ‘those’ people pouring over the border these days. They stomp their muddy feet on the doormat,…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Researchers at Harvard University determined that 100% of Millennials suffer from PTSD linked to exposure to the website rotten.com, confirmed sources who…
REDDING, Calif. – Former junior high bully and antagonist of a 1990 anti-drug PSA Ryan Telley is reportedly still pushing handfuls of pre-rolled joints onto…
NEW YORK — Former President Donald Trump charmed conservative podcast host Grant Victoria with a story about the time he helped five innocent men get…
NEW YORK — Mets fans were encouraged to “strap in” this past weekend when the stadium organist treated them to an impromptu and seemingly endless…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — A recent ancestry report revealed that a small portion of hardcore legend Henry Rollins’ DNA could be traced back to a species…
NEW YORK — Independent Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reminded voters that he also keeps a monkey with a gun next to his bed…
AUSTIN, Texas — The Austin city government placed a bronze statue of a homeless man sleeping on a bench in an effort to raise awareness…
BOSTON – Researchers at Harvard University studying the negative effects of phone usage before bed concluded that nothing fucking matters and you should do whatever…
BEND, Ore. — Local amateur historian and occasional beloved family member Paul Poppavich vehemently dismisses news of fascism’s rising international tide, despite an encyclopedic knowledge…
LISTERVILLE, Calif. — Tourists from across various southern California locales flocked to the sleepy town of Listerville outside of the Sequioa National Forest to witness…
CHARLESTON, S.C. — A new study by the College of Charleston confirms that the majority of shoppers at JoAnn Fabrics espouse stronger and more tangible…