LOS ANGELES — Notorious rapper Kanye West apologized for his past controversial remarks about former President George W. Bush, confirmed sources. “I said some things…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local punk Pattie “Two Dollar” O’Malley set up a foundation dedicated to researching and curing “coke dick,” a condition that renders…
NEW YORK — A new independent report revealed that the average veterinarian has an eight-hour wait list due to the sheer volume of hunky outlaws…
WASHINGTON — Democratic leadership announced their plans to play the 2013 Katy Perry song “Roar” very loud in response to the aggressive start of President…
BLUE ISLAND, Ill. — 41-year-old Jacob Francois claimed responsibility for taking over a local bar’s jukebox using only his phone, an act he says was…
BOSTON — Freshman photography student Elias Carbone reportedly crossed four lanes of heavy traffic to ask you if you’ve ever modeled before and if you’d…
FULLERTON, Calif. — New dad and aspiring musician Gerry Malnati was forced to decide whether to delete pictures from previous vacations and gatherings with family…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local man Timothy Kroeger reportedly lost his shit again despite bragging about how little sleep he needs on a nightly basis,…
LOS ANGELES — The White House Correspondents’ Association surprised potential guests by announcing Jeff Dunham’s most racist puppet, Bubba J, will host their annual dinner…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump attempted to justify his policy of mass deportations by claiming illegal immigrants are taking up the majority of all guest…
NEW YORK — Local crustie Joel McCaffrey was seen excitedly planning a romantic Valentine’s Day evening for his partner by leaving a trail of loose…
NEW BEDFORD, Mass. — Friends and family of local man Rick Winston marveled at his nonchalant attitude about attending highly anticipated social events without realizing…
NEW ORLEANS — Rapper Kendrick Lamar thrilled the nation during his Super Bowl halftime appearance after revealing his special guest performer was none other than…
AUSTIN, Texas — GOP lawmakers from the Lone Star State introduced a bill requiring parental advisory stickers be placed on all guns that end up…
Ailing Man Dies Despite Several “You Got This” Reddit Comments
KOKOMO, Ind. — Local man Andrew Stoltz succumbed to an illness even though he received multiple positive reassurances online, according to users of the fantasy…