ATLANTA — The well-played guitar of local man Cody Marksen entered its next chapter as a wall decoration in his suburban condo, sources actively searching…
DENVER — A group of left-leaning bank robbers decided to start a recent holdup by acknowledging the crime they were committing was happening on land…
WASHINGTON — Ronald Rowe Jr, acting director of the Secret Service, held a press conference today to announce that he is heavily considering requesting all…
TACOMA, Wash. — Punk house squatter Dave Giles reportedly converted virtually every open space within his home into a junk drawer, cluttered sources confirmed. “Dave’s…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — A team of scientists was left bewildered after a series of tests definitively proved that smashed guitars feel pain and anguish when…
WARWICK, R.I. — Amanda Martinez, a 26-year-old known for always being prepared, unknowingly became the primary care physician for her group of underemployed friends, according…
TULUM, Mexico — Only 48 hours into her long-awaited vacation, 29-year-old Abigail Mahoney started calculating the number of days until she could return to her…
RICHMOND, Va. — Members of a new unnamed metal band were forced to watch every episode of the Amazon Prime show “Rings of Power” to…
VeggieTales has always been a beacon of moral lessons and ethical Christian teachings, but what if these characters went off the deep end? A dark…
DERRY, N.H. — Conservative divorcee and frequent conspiracy forum visitor Ken Doherty claims his lifestyle epitomizes the punk rock ethos, according to sources who follow…
OAKLAND, Calif. — The adoption form for an elderly dog with gangrene at Pups in Paradise Animal Shelter required everyone in the rescuer’s household to…
MINNEAPOLIS — Mike Curry, a local father and devoted straight-edge punk, resorted to unconventional means after discovering his son had been using marijuana, horrified sources…
WASHINGTON. — Local 32-year-old Seth Kepling informed friends Friday night that his iPhone 13, which is covered by an AppleCare plan, actually has better insurance…
LIVINGSTON, Tenn. — Local police officer Brad Jenkins vocally expressed concern that illegal immigrants were in town eating all of the neighborhood dogs he was…
PHILADELPHIA — Former President Trump deviated from his prepared talking points to pay tribute to Darth Vader and the countless jobs he created running his…