JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Popular conservative influencer Jake Fowler intends to “own the libs” by spending two months in a notorious El Salvadoran prison to prove…
WASHINGTON — Members of the GOP claimed that the opening lyrics to the Misfits’ song “Last Caress” was proof that people abort babies post-birth, confirmed…
INDIO, Calif. — Coachella attendee Kayle Cooper breathed a sigh of relief after discovering the Native American headdress she was going to purchase to wear…
POTTSTOWN, Pa. — Sarah and Luke Fleming opted to have a child to serve to exempt them from attending any more game nights, according to…
CALGARY, Alberta — A dog cohabitating with some local punks announced that he’s fed up with constantly being falsely accused of vomiting inside the house,…
WASHINGTON — President Trump announced a new program to help boost ICE enlistment numbers by promising to forgive any debt incurred by delinquent child support…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump made the bold claim that his economy is “hugely much stronger” than that of the administration of about 10 minutes…
NEWARK, N.J. — Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Agent Gary Morton decided to change his morally reprehensible ways and lead an upstanding life after a…
CHICAGO — Death Crack bassist Tim Bolz said he was “totally fine” with writing his own birthday post on the band’s Instagram page for the…
ARLINGTON, Texas — Vice President JD Vance was spotted sign twirling outside of a Tesla dealership today, attempting to convince onlookers to pull in for…
LEXINGTON, Ky. — Self-proclaimed MAGA Christian Cullen Monroe took a moment to remind himself of his core values today with a quick glance at his…
MACON, Ga. — Local doormat Howard Logue showcased his clear lack of self-confidence by singing only the background vocals of a recent karaoke performance, sources…
WASHINGTON — Local sex worker Jasmine Lawler is facing years behind bars after being labeled a domestic terrorist because she burst out in hysterical laughter…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump decided on a whim to pardon former Subway spokesperson and confessed serial child molester Jared Fogle, sadly unsurprised sources report.…
MANITOWOC, Wis. — Brooding songwriter Evan Stone’s dark, deep, and lonely creative process was seen mostly as an excuse to get day drunk on a…
