NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Avid readers of TheKnot.com report that a couple’s “Our Story” section on their personal wedding website, where the betrothed puts their romantic tales into a narrative format, left some scratching their heads and others hungry for more, confirmed sources.
“I remember it all a bit differently,” maid-of-honor Beth Boswell recalled upon reading her best friend Emma Stonewell’s “Our Story” page. “Right there in the beginning, the passage reads, ‘It began on a spring day on the lawn at Vanderbilt. The harsh bitterness of winter was thawing by the second, and with it also thawed Emma’s precarious heart as she watched Mitchell dive to catch a frisbee across the lawn.’ Yeah, this did not happen. I’m telling you. Emma was actually obsessed with this hockey guy at the time, Rick. He was 26, but still a Junior. She was getting railed by Rick every night, definitely not watching Mitchell’s ultimate games. This belongs in Simon and Schuster’s catalog, not this website.”
Stonewell’s sorority sister, Isabelle Grey, confirmed her infatuation with another suitor at the time.
“Her prose is beautiful, ‘Lifting his body off the warm earth, he used his bicep to wipe the sweat from his forehead, revealing a grass-stained elbow. She felt her cheeks flush red like cherries, and lowered her gaze, watching him. She knew in the moment. Reader, this was her husband,’” Grey dictated. “If only it were true. No shade to Mitchell. He had a delicate way about him when he played frisbee, like a ballerina. But Rick was shoving guys up against the glass in an arena every night, and that just really got Emma going. But I should say, I was left wanting more. Let’s hope Beth gets divorced and remarried, so she can put out more fiction work. She’s a natural.”
Janet Reilly, historical romance enthusiast and lover of TheKnot.com, noted that history can only truly be understood when completely fabricated, highly conventional stories or characters are placed within it.
“The way she wrote about how their love was forbidden by their families but ‘home’ for her now only existed in his arms, wow. It just dazzled me,” Reilly remarked with delight. “I always say, what better way to learn about the Titanic than through Rose and Jack? Who would care about that stupid ship if not for them? It doesn’t matter if it really happened. Nonetheless, it’s a good thing these two died before they had a chance to get engaged and write an ‘Our Story.’”
At press time, groom Mitchell Sawyer Brooks III confirmed he didn’t really have anything to do with the website, but would “def have to check it out sometime.”