WASHINGTON — An army of dads from across the nation descended upon the capital in a wave of cargo shorts and socks with sandals to protest skyrocketing power bills due to the surge in AI usage, White House insiders report.
“When I got a leaked copy of Google’s energy bill and saw how much energy this AI machine was using up, I knew I had to take a stand. Let me be very clear, this isn’t an environmental thing, it’s about responsible spending,” Bob Henderson, a 52-year-old dad from Ohio and leader of “Dads Against Digital Drain” (DADD) hollered into a megaphone, holding a sign that said “Turn Off the AI When You’re Done.” “If I am not going to let my kids leave the lights on or run the air conditioning below 77 degrees, there is no way in hell I am going to let these tech companies run up a bill so some California liberal can find out what they look like as a Golden Girl.”
Amid the chaos of dads storming Washington, the White House was forced to respond with a mix of trepidation and understanding.
“At first we thought we had another January 6th on our hands. But we understand the concerns of America’s dads and are looking into solutions, but there is little the government can do,” White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre stated during a press conference. “In the meantime, we suggest change begin at home. Don’t let your teens use ChatGPT to write their essays about ‘Of Mice and Men,’ don’t use Stable Diffusion to make raunchy Marge Simpson images, and don’t ask an AI assistant about the weather when you can just look outside.”
Meanwhile, tech companies are scrambling to address the issue, with some suggesting power-saving modes for AI systems.
“At Google, we understand the growing concerns among fathers regarding power consumption associated with AI systems,” said company spokesperson Lisa Bradley. “We’re exploring some exciting new methods to save power that we think fathers will appreciate, such as training AI to respond to questions by saying, ‘I don’t know, ask your mother,’ reducing its active processing time. We are also considering using pedal-powered servers generated by children in the third-world. We are even beta testing a ‘low-power mode’ where the AI will only generate images based on low-quality Facebook nostalgia-bait memes about drinking hose water and participation trophies.”
As of press time, DADD has staged a sit-in in the Capitol rotunda until the AI power crisis is solved or someone teaches them to set up their Alexa, whatever comes first.