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Hardcore Band’s Show Just Four Dudes Working Out on Stage

BROOKLYN — Local hardcore band Abandoned delighted audience members last night with a set comprised of all four members “absolutely tearing up” their pecs, lats, and traps in a grueling workout on stage, sources confirm.

“We’d been on the road a while, lifting on stages all across the country, so it was nice to close it out strong with some solid benching in our hometown,” guitarist Seth Sherman said of the intense set. “People look forward to chest day, so it was awesome to hear everyone counting along. And that encore of supersets blasting my bis and tris is always a crowd pleaser; they go wild for the glamour muscles… as they should!”

Audience members were thrilled to see the band crush their set back in their hometown.

“They’re easily the best hardcore band out there right now, no contest — they brought out the bench press, and the bassist put up, like, four plates, right off the bat,” said Sheepshead Bay resident Andrew Castiglio. “I’m super lucky I caught them on chest day, too. I am a little bummed I didn’t get to see them do leg day — that woulda been fucking sick — but, I mean, I came here to watch four dudes working out on a stage, and that’s what the fuck I got!”

While most of the audience knew exactly what they were getting into, some were admittedly shocked by the unconventional set.

“I kept waiting for the music to start, but they literally just played a different band’s music through a small stereo, and worked out to that,” said bewildered fan, Jenna Chan. “They even had a sound guy working, and had all their amps and drums and stuff set up and everything.”

“The crowd was super into it, though,” she added. “They even invited someone up from the audience to spot the drummer at one point. And I really appreciated that they wiped the bench off after they were done lifting — that’s super considerate, and really cool of them.”

At press time, Abandoned was at their practice space, working on a new training regimen for next summer’s tour — expected to include kettlebell squats, deadlifts, and a treadmill “in case anyone wants to just do cardio for a night.”