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Friend Watching “90 Day Fiancé” Getting Pretty Liberal with the Term “Docuseries”

ALBANY— Local man Rudy Foster is getting pretty loose with the term “docuseries” after using it to describe his favorite reality television show “90 Day Fiancé,” fed-up sources confirmed.

“How dare they accuse me of only watching TLC trash. I saw the original ‘Catfish’ documentary in theaters! I even asked Nev to explain the ‘catfish’ metaphor again during the Q&A. This was back when MTV just didn’t play music videos,” said Foster. “It’s not my fault all of this high-quality documentary content is being turned into streaming series now. I remember when ‘The Queen of Versailles’ won a Sundance award. So just because the docuseries sequel landed on Discovery+, it’s suddenly below everyone? I’d say finally learning about their residential Benihana kitchen is the best storyline to date!”

Lucy Conrad, a longtime friend, isn’t buying this documentary snobbery.

“Maybe Rudy watched one David Attenborough docuseries ten years ago, but the last time I checked, his TV home screen was nothing but ’90 Day’ spinoffs. And I think it’s getting worse,” said Conrad in a worried tone. “We’ve noticed he’s been talking about Bret Michaels a lot recently. And I think that can only mean one thing: he’s rewatching ‘Rock of Love.’ Why else would someone suddenly bring up a conspiracy theory about how his hair is attached to his bandana? Yesterday, he went on a depressing tangent about how hard it must be for two people wearing cowboy hats to make out.”

Banks Robertson, a veteran documentarian, isn’t so upset about the changing entertainment landscape.

“Look, man, I don’t care what you call it. I’d never made a red cent from my work. When I started, it was hopping vans, traveling the country, and interviewing quirky characters along the way. Sure, I got a ton of praise for my documentary about the lives of urban explorers, but it also left me in massive debt,” said Robertson. “I couldn’t care less if you wanna watch reality shows now. Thank God someone out there will pay me to hold a camera. If I just agree to follow around much worse people, TLC will pay enough to partially fund my next project. One for them, one for me, I say. Well, more like 48 for them, half of one for me.”

At press time, Foster was overheard arguing that technically, the Deftones are a lot more “experimental art rock” than “nu metal.”