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Comic Refers Date to Episode Three of His Podcast When Asked About Childhood

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local stand-up comedian and single guy Cranbert Nelson told his date last night to listen to episode three of his podcast when she asked about his childhood, uncomfortable sources confirm.

“I told her to check out my podcast when we first started texting, so I figured she’d have walked in knowing everything already,” said Nelson. “On episode three of ‘Convos With Cranbert,’ available for streaming on Spotify and Apple Music, I riff with a fellow comedian about my mom’s hoarding and verbal abuse for 48 seconds, and I joked about how I won the ‘most improved award’ on my 5th grade soccer team at 52:11. I just told her to listen to it so I didn’t have to repeat myself. Plus, that episode is pure gold, and I hope she’ll consider leaving a review.”

However, Nelson’s date, Wendee Jefferson, received a somewhat extreme reaction after she asked benignly if he ever ate Pop Rocks as a child.

“He stared at me with a blank face for a few moments as if I had just asked him to murder his first born child,” said Jefferson. “Before we could even order drinks, he took my phone and subscribed me to his and 10 of his friends’ podcasts on my Spotify. Then he called people who do improv ‘lazy’ and ‘not good enough for stand-up’ or something. I’ve never wished I was listening to someone talk about their ex so bad in my life.”

For his part, bystanders claim Nelson didn’t appear interested in Jefferson’s life, despite not wanting to outright discuss his own.

“I couldn’t eat my sandwich in peace because of him,” said witness Jasmine Clover. “She brought up how she used to watch ‘Blues Clues,’ and he interrupted her with some story about finding sex toys in his mom’s closet, but then stopped and said he didn’t want to give away any ‘spoilers.’ Then he started going on about all the ways people could squeeze listening to podcasts into their everyday lives. Poor girl.”

At press time, Nelson and Jefferson were spotted at a local dive bar’s open-mic night, which witnesses claim Nelson marketed to her over dessert as ‘his comedy show.’