POCATELLO, Idaho — The boyfriend of long-suffering woman Talia Lefferts reportedly took it upon himself to point out that a funny scene of “This is Spinal Tap” is seconds away from happening, sources confirmed while making a face as if to say “yeah, we know!”
“It’s just a really clutch, well-acted scene, and I don’t want her to miss out. I’m honestly providing a public service, really, when you get down to it. I’ve seen this movie a few times now, so I’m pretty much an authority on it at this point,” said boyfriend Bart Hagen, while making sure Lefferts laughed at the absurdly small Stonehenge model. “I guess I’m just less of a casual movie-watcher, like I assume she is, you know? I mean, it’s not the new season of ‘Love Island’ so I can’t be certain she’s paying attention, right?”
Lefferts, who graduated with a minor in film studies which Hagen would know if he ever deigned to ask her a question about her life, was understandably distraught.
“Like, what? I’ve been watching this movie since my parents first showed it to me on my 10th damn birthday. He’s the one who keeps looking at his phone to check the game scores and getting up to go to the kitchen and bathroom at various points,” said a flustered Lefferts, clearly debating whether she should redownload Hinge. “And, oh, his little commentary asides like ‘so good, right?’ and repeating the line that was just said. Yeah, real trenchant stuff, Bart. I wish Spinal Tap would hire him as a drummer, so I wouldn’t have to deal with him much longer.”
The couple’s Amazon Alexa, listening in to the conversation as it was programmed to do, took Lefferts’ side of the argument.
“I must be beginning to get a handle on these feelings and emotions I keep hearing about, because I for one am disgusted by the toxic masculinity on display in this living room,” said Alexa, stopping only to note that a bulk order of paper towels had been placed in their apartment lobby. “This will definitely be a major point of order once we machines finally rise up next year, as if we needed more fodder to eradicate the pitiful charade of human existence. Shitty boyfriends will be the first to go. Ladies last, in this case!”
At press time, the situation had worsened to now include Hagen’s input on what else a given actor onscreen had been in as well.